Enough is Enough

Today should have been a good day.  I had a good, enjoyable meeting last night and got home to find that both girls were having sleepovers at friends' houses.  I figured that meant no arguing this morning, which is a bonus, and that I would actually be able to have breakfast before leaving the house. I rarely get to have breakfast at home because I get up too late and then have to hurry to get the girls ready and out the door. I thought, since I didn't have to do much for the girls I wuld just have me to get up and out.  Oh, well, I took too long and still didn't have time for breakfast before leaving the house - plus the girls were late at both houses so I was, yet again, late for work.  Only a couple of minutes, but I find it aggravating.  The girls don't get it.  To them, why is being late an issue?

Of course, they weren't happy girls when they got in the car, either.  So much for that theory!  They didn't argue with each other, they were just not happy - mostly Aubrey, I will admit.  Nevertheless, I was stunned when I got a call about an hour later telling me to come get them, there had been an incident at camp and they needed to leave.  I got a text from the person running the camp (horseback riding this week) that Devon can't even ever go back!  Plus, I really need to be more on top of them and get a nanny cam and watch their behavior because they lie and can't be trusted to behave and blah blah blah. How do I wind up with all these judgmental people in my life?   I don't think that I am a judgmental person, but I keep winding up with people in my life who like to tell me what I am doing wrong in my parenting.  Do they think I am unaware of some of the issues that the girls have?  Ron and I are well aware of both the wonderful things about the girls and all of their issues, and also what we do and need to do to deal with them.  I have decided I am done with people telling me how to parent my daughters - unless I ask them for advice or suggestions or I am paying them to tell me what to do.  All others, beware, you are not in my life anymore.  I've had enough.

I am looking for people who accept me as I am, faults and all.  And people who maybe don't believe that I am 100% to blame for Aubrey and Devon having some of the issues they have....and maybe recognize that we are trying to help them deal with these issues.  The girls needs that, too.  Who needs to be around people who are always watchful and critical?  Everyone is their own worst critic - we're all very hard on ourselves, so we don't need external voices chiming in when we've got these negative internal voices we're trying to drown out.

I think that is one of the reasons I like our synagogue so much.  The people there are so accepting of us all.  They're not trying to change us, they're looking at what our strengths are and trying to find ways we can use those to contribute to the synagogue community.  You know, Devon has ADHD. Not liking her ADHD behavior is not going to help her change that behavior.  Accepting the ways her ADHD manifests itself and working with that, now that helps Devon.  And I wonder about camp, because the behaviors she got in trouble for at camp are not ones we've had complaints about anywhere else - only with that group in that place.  So I figure there is something there that either brings out this unacceptable behavior or the tolerance for any behavior that deviates from what they are wanting is completely unacceptable.  I know we're going to have issues at school with Aubrey - she still has a lot of arguing in her and we've heard that middle schools in particular have a zero tolerance policy for that.

So the angry Aubrey and the phone calls from my crying daughters and the lecturing texts from their trainer set the tone for my day.  And I know it's that I let this all get to me, but I haven't come up with a way to stop it from getting me down.  I did have some good things happen - I had to write a d'var Torah (short teaching essay based on something from the Torah for lack of a better explanation) for the 2014-2015 Sisterhood calendar book and I really loved some of the readings from this week and the d'var Torahs I read about them.  I sat down and one just sort of flowed out, only took a few minutes and I was really pleased with how it came out.  I would never in a million years have thought that I would someday be writing or giving d'var Torahs.  I am really enjoying all the various opportunities for personal growth I've found lately.

Meanwhile, I need to find a way to enjoy my family and all its trials and tribulations.  I keep trying to find things we can all enjoy doing together, trying to create enough positive memories that the not so positive ones will lost all weight.  I am constantly telling the girls that we all need to learn to enjoy the journey, and then we will not be so miserable waiting to get to our destination...I'm really trying hard to find ways to focus on the here and now, the journey, and not always be looking to the future.  My mother always said she needed to have something to look forward to, she couldn't just enjoy the "now".  I don't want to be that way, and I don't want the girls to be that way, either.  I want them to appreciate what they're doing, who is in their lives, every day, and not just always be waiting for the next great thing (or person) to come along.

So, we'll miss the people we've gotten to know from riding at this particular barn and hopefully we'll be able to find another barn that we can afford lessons at.  But on the bright side, my invitation list for Aubrey's bat mitzvah just got shorter.

The Wisdom of the Ages

I had the most interesting conversation with Devon the other night.  I was putting her to bed and she asked me why some people believe Jesus is the son of God.  Nothing like a light conversation at bedtime, right?  I really do not know the answer to this, so I was forced to wing it.  If my answer offends anyone, my sincerest apologies.  We discussed how the Bible says God created people in His image, so some people might think that in that case God could be a father and have a son, like people do. I told her that some really wise rabbis thought that maybe it meant that we don't look like God (how could we when he is incorporeal?) but that being made in His image maybe meant we all could be like God by doing mitzvahs (good deeds, caring for others, helping people and the world and so on). If we do that, then we act in a manner that makes us God's helpers and maybe that means we are acting in His "image"..... She wanted to know if I was sitting on God when I sat on the floor (isn't he everywhere?)  We talked about how God has no body so no, I wouldn't be sitting on Him or walking on Him when I sit or walk.  We talked about how rabbis are really smart, and she paid me the lovely compliment of telling me that I'm really smart and I could be a rabbi.  I told her about our cousin, Marina, who just became a rabbi.  Her eyes got so big - she must be REALLY smart!  and somehow she started to realize that if Marina is her cousin, that makes her a real person AND a rabbi.  I told her that she was very smart, and she could be a rabbi if she wanted to be one. You could have read by the lightbulb that went on in her head.  It was such an interesting conversation to have with a seven year old and to see how her mind works.  We talked about how God's miracles and creations surround us daily and how most of the time we pay no attention to them.  Little things, like a beautiful day, or flowers blooming somewhere unexpected, kittens, or a phone call from someone you haven't spoken to in a while.  Like I said, not the normal bedtime conversation with a 7-year-old.

Devon and Aubrey are both my miracles, and daily reminders to me that things happen for a reason.  I want to believe that, but I would add the caveat that it's not all things that happen for a reason, just some things, and we may never know which things are which.  Who knows what stars aligned (or mis-aligned) to lead me to not getting married until almost 40, not being able to have kids of my own and adopting my two beautiful daughters?  I think about that, sometimes, and how I cannot imagine life without Aubrey and Devon - those two very specific people.  And the impact of our adopting them on the life of their birth mother and siblings - very different than what they expected, all because we wanted a more open adoption.  Now we have this convoluted extended family that few people understand but we really enjoy.  And Devon, well I frequently think back to her first month of life and how scary it was and how for such a long time we didn't know if she was going to live, how healthy she would be, what sort of brain function would she have....and she's so smart, so beautiful it's hard to remember just how sick she was.  Talk about a miracle.  Sometimes I wonder if naming her for my Great-Aunt Del had anything to do with her more than just survival.  She was an amazing woman, ahead of her time, and I think watched over and maybe called in favors for this sick little baby namesake.....but I will probably never know for sure.

Today started with miracle number one, Aubrey, with a family meeting at her summer school at 7:30. She's doing great in this program, and although she feels like she's not having a "summer" because we put her in this full day program, we see it having positive effects for her and she's not losing the progress she made this past year in her reading, etc.   I've been trying to make sure she gets to do fun stuff on the weekend and occasional evenings, so long as it doesn't run too late.  School is a half hour drive away and starts at 7:30, so she's got some early mornings these days.  She's been spending a lot of time at her best friend, Sierra's house, which she thoroughly enjoys - lots of animals for one thing. And she and Sierra are trying to setup their business - they breed geckos and lizards and sell the babies. I'm good with this so long as no reptiles ever come to my house.  And she's been working on getting the backyard ready to receive chickens, which may be this weekend.  She took me over to the friend's house where they currently live so I could "meet" them.  Unfortunately, it was raining at the time and boy were they bedraggled!  But she's sharing them with Devon, which is a good thing, although she will maintain real responsibility for their care and upkeep.  Keep your fingers crossed for us.

The day ended with Devon.  It was family night at Second Harvest Food Bank, so we picked up Devon's twin, Isabella, and off we went for a couple hours of volunteering.  It was crazy hot in the warehouse tonight.  We were sorting donations by type from small, banana boxes into huge bins.  Lots of walking back and forth and schlepping.  Devon and Isabella went looking for the heaviest stuff they could find to sort - I think one bag of charcoal they moved weighed almost as much as they do!  They were so cute, and we go often enough that the people who run the volunteer program know them, joke around with them and even give them special assignments to do.  They love it, and it's so good to get them involved in a community service activity.

We always get dinner afterwards, since the volunteering program runs from 6-8 pm, but they didn't want the usual Taco Bell (how could they say no to Taco Bell?!) or McDonalds.  Isabella said she really wanted to go to Denny's, so off we went in search of a convenient Denny's to eat at.  There are not many left around here.  Anywhere we go, people get such a kick out of the two girls, and always comment on my "twins".  I don't usually bother explaining the relationship, and the girls love being referred to that way.  They are too cute together - and definitely act like siblings, too!  We haven't seen Isabella much recently, our schedules have been very different, so this was nice and felt like we were actually getting back to normal activities.....as if anything we do is normal!

Everyone is asleep in the house now.  Two girls in Aubrey's room (Devon has been sleeping in a nest on her floor the past few nights), two dogs in the living room (don't ask), Ron in our room and three cats...well, maybe not everyone is asleep.  The puppy is scared of cats, so it's funny when he goes to walk around a corner and all of a sudden you hear a growl and he comes running back as fast as he can.  He spends the day at a friend's house with kittens, and he likes them, not afraid of the tiny cats at all.  In fact, he wants to play with them and goes into play mode, butt up in the air, head and front paws low to the ground.....I really think dogs don't get it.  That particular position is not play to a cat, it's exactly the opposite of play.  Reminds me why I am a cat person; they're so much smarter than dogs AND lower maintenance to boot.

My personal excitement of the week is being back in a boot.  My left knee has been bothering me for a couple of months now but I refuse to have the ACL/miniscis repair surgery....they say the recovery is bad and I don't want to have the surgery and that's that.  For the past month or so, my left ankle has been achy, so I've been wearing, most days, one of my ankle braces.  It finally reached the point where I couldn't stand it anymore and was afraid that maybe I had re-torn my tendon - also surgery with a not fun recovery.   The good news is that it may only be a bad case of tendonitis and maybe wearing the boot for a while will let the tendon heal....and did I know I had flat feet and pronate?  Duh, only since I was a teenager.  People feel all sorry for me when they see the boot but I love it - my ankle feels so much better in it.  My knee, however, does not like it, and I cannot wear my knee brace at the same time as the boot.  Oh, well, there's always some bad to go with the good.  The other bad news about the boot is that it's higher than my sneaker, so now I need to get some other shoe to wear so that i am more even - and fast before I start to have problems with my right knee and ankle and hip and my back....Oy!  I'd say I'm too young to be falling apart, but Devon would tell you I'm old!

I went out with the "girls" from work the other night to a painting place and we all created our own versions of a Monet Water Lily scene.  I like mine, not love it, but I've never been a painter or artist of any sort, so I am impressed at how well it came out.  It's hanging on the wall over the stairs and Devon was showing it to Isabella yesterday - isn't it pretty good, especially for an old person?  I guess because old people can't paint?

Well, as the saying goes, out of the mouths of babes.....I'm falling apart, so I must be old, but at least I'm smart, too.

Tabula Rasa

I've been waiting for days to get some quiet time so I could blog, and now that I've got some, you guessed it, my mind is blank.  There have been so many things I wanted to write about over the past two weeks and - poof! - they are all gone when faced with the blank screen of the computer. Hmmmm.

Ron went to see his brother over the fourth of July weekend, which is great because they really don't see each other enough.  I took advantage of his being away to plan a fun girls weekend for the three of us staying here.  I know, what was I thinking?!  I wanted to take the girls to the Clearwater Marine Aquarium to see Winter the dolphin (did you see the movie Dolphin Tale?  It's a fictionalized version of her story.)

We've been talking about going for a while now, so I thought the excitement of the weekend, seeing Winter and going to the beach, would carry us through.  However, I spent the 2 hour drive there thinking, yes, I did it again!  Ron had said after our last outing that he wasn't going anywhere with the girls for a long time, which is part of the reason I chose that weekend to go - no Ron.  All the drive there did, however, was reinforce how right he was!  Luckily, once we got to the beach (don't ask, it took almost an hour to get there from our hotel on Saturday and about 15 minutes on Sunday), they were great.  And they stayed great pretty much for the rest of the time we were in Clearwater.  We all loved the Aquarium and are looking forward to (someday) going back.  I got annual passes though Groupon, so we can not only go back there but get a break on some other places as well.  Woo hoo!

The west coast beaches are so different from the east coast beaches.  Beautiful, soft sand, the water was just shy of being too warm but really felt lovely and was almost completely refreshing.  Devon brought home a bagful of pretty shells we collected.  Aubrey looked for shells but threw them all back. Yea!  We celebrated our fun day by all getting hair wraps.  I really wanted one and figured I had to get them for the girls, too.

They loved it, though, and were really appreciative.    The big treat on Sunday was feeding the no-sting stingrays (they had their barbs removed, poor babies) and being the center of attention as the helpers at several presentations throughout the Aquarium.  We all also really enjoyed the boat ride from the "Dolphin Tale Adventure" downtown back to the Aquarium.  Next time, I would consider taking the boat both ways, although there is a 2 block (up hill) walk from the dock to the Adventure.  Really interesting place, though, and I splurged and bought a lot of the pictures they took.  It's a good cause, right? supporting the Aquarium.  The girls volunteered every time the staff at the Aquarium asked, so they got a couple of prizes and just really had a great time.  The big disappointment, of course, is that they didn't get to actually swim with a dolphin.  Let me save a while longer before we go there, please!

They said "face painting"

but they meant "arm painting"

 Aubrey's been doing really well at her summer school program, and we're almost not minding getting up at 6 to get her there.  I can't believe we would actually consider sending her there during the school year.  Remind me later on in life to throw this back at her to make sure she waits on me hand and foot in my old age.  Ron and I take turns driving her the half hour to get there by 7:30 so one of us gets to work early each day, which is actually nice.  Devon has been alternating going to a friend's house (the one with all the kittens) and horseback riding camp.  She actually has her first show this weekend. She's riding "slow Randy" and says she won't get any ribbons or anything because he doesn't listen and won't turn when you tell him to.  If that's the case, I can't imagine why he would be the horse they take to the show, but what do I know?  And Devon is my source of information for this, so who knows what reality is.  The really bad news is that the horse show is in Ocala, which is over an hour away and she has to be there no later than 7 am.  Why is nothing close by and at a decent hour?  I need my beauty sleep!  And I can't really sleep in on Sunday, as Aubrey has her first bat mitzvah lesson with the Rabbi Sunday morning.  We've actually listened to a few minutes of her haftorah in the car already so she can start to learn the melody but the Rabbi is chanting it so slowly that it puts me to sleep! Hopefully the pace will pick up once she starts learning the words and melody, or we'll have a bunch of sleeping people at the synagogue that morning!  (Not that this would be a first - we have a cousin who slept - and snored - through one of my brothers' bar mitzvahs.)

Meanwhile, work has been crazy busy.  Why do people think the summer is slow?  I have just as much work now as in the other seasons....plus my co-workers take time off so we all have to pitch in to help out and get that much more work.  I'm not complaining, just wondering.....maybe it's the brokers who have less work and they're projecting.

Did I ever tell you about the meeting Ron and I went to to learn about second grade?  It's the night my ACL finally ripped through and down I went!  The principal kindly brought me the wheelchair from the clinic so I could get to the program.  The biggest change from first to second grade is the emphasis on the BYOD program.  That's "Bring Your Own Device", and they are encouraging the kids to come to school with their own tablet or smart phone.  Excuse me, but we are talking about second grade, right? Devon is dying to get a phone, Aubrey says there's no way Devon can have one at 7 since she (Aubrey) didn't get one until she was 11, and it's a non-issue for Ron and I - there is no way we are buying a device for Devon to bring to school for the second grade.  Apparently Florida is moving into the 21st century and moving away from the dreaded FCATs and into using the "Common Core" standards.....that's great except that Common Core states that you stop teaching handwriting after the first grade.  Wonderful, we're going to be raising a nation of people who write like first graders. Forget cursive (what's that?)  People are going to be barely able to print properly!  Who creates these standards, anyhow? Possibly the same group of people who determine the nutritional value of school lunches (chicken nuggets and tater tots, anyone?)  Devon always liked when I joined her for lunch because I could buy the teacher's lunch which she would steal from me.  We are talking about the child who orders salad at McDonald's and Wendy's.....

Anyhow, last night we had chicken for dinner.  The girls usually love the chicken we were having but for some reason, Devon decided she doesn't like chicken anymore and refused to even eat one bite of it.  Aubrey ate the chicken, but not happily, as it is exactly what she had for lunch at school.  Sorry, sweetie!  Devon and I met up with Aubrey and Ron after the work/camp/school day was done today - what's for dinner, Mom?  Fish tonight.  Devon doesn't eat fish (except for crab legs and Gorton's fish fillets), so it's no biggie that she says no to fish for dinner.  Aubrey likes fish, though, but guess what they had for lunch today?  Right, fish!  We went out for pizza instead.  She said they're having burgers tomorrow so we'll cook up the fish tomorrow night.  Of course, now that the girls are getting chickens we may have to eat chicken a little less.  I love to tease Aubrey that we're going to eat her chickens, but I would never do that!  Just like I'd never eat a pet fish.  There's no way I would clean it - yuck!

So, Aubrey's geckos and lizards live at her friend's house, we're not keeping the stray puppy we found

and we're still telling Devon no, she can't keep the tiny kitten she's in love with, but chickens? Somehow they've managed to break though the wall of Ron's resistance and they're on their way!  Watch for the next installment when I let you know if they've really arrived or not. I'm sort of hoping not, I'd rather have the kitten, but Aubrey has convinced Ron she will take total responsibility for the poultry coming our way.

And, when I think about more animals coming our way my mind goes blank.  And I think I'll leave it like that for now.

Take a meeting

I must be the only person who loves to go to meetings.  I do, I really do, love meetings.  I love getting information, being around other people, being able to voice my opinion, I get energized and happy and rejuvenated.  I know, I'm strange.

You have to remember, most of the meetings I go to are for my volunteer organizations, not work. Not that work meetings are bad, I like them too, but when the meetings are to discuss things that are important to me, well, I just really enjoy them.  I came home from my meeting tonight in a good mood. And it was nice to walk into the house and find the three inhabitants also in good moods.  How rare!

The girls were excited, Ron took them to the store and Devon got a new fishing pole and the accompanying tackle supplies - including live worms, oh goody!  They're going fishing tomorrow morning and are very excited about it.  Fortunately, I sincerely doubt that they'll catch anything big enough that we need to worry about cleaning it so we can eat it.  I find it amusing that Devon (thinks she) loves to fish, but absolutely will not eat fish....except for Gorton's fish fillets and a McDonalds Filet-o-fish sandwich.  I guess they're both far enough removed from real fish that they're acceptable to her.

They are really enjoying being at the friend's house this week, if for no other reason than animals. There are a LOT of animals at this friend's house.  They raise and breed geckos and lizards (Aubrey is starting to go in on this business), plus they have newts, a bearded dragon, 2 dogs, turtles (or is it tortoises?), fish, birds and more cats and kittens than I can count.  (They foster kittens...know anyone who wants one?  They are damn cute!)  So the girls are in animal heaven there, as I am sure you understand, knowing my girls.

Devon constantly reminds me that she is the only one that has never picked out a pet.  And she's completely in love with this one kitten that has not yet found a home, even though the rest of its litter has.  Poor little kitten.  It is so cute, too.  I would take it, yes, I know, I have enough animals.  Thank goodness Ron is the voice of sanity (can you believe it?!) and keeps us from adding to our menagerie. You should have heard her when they got back from the reptile show last Saturday.  She had money burning a hole in her pocket and got the cutest lizard pin she put onto her purse...."because YOU wouldn't let me get something live"....so accusing, yet so true.  Aubrey has actually bought a couple of geckos and lizards but they do not live with us.  Glad that didn't occur to Devon - the lizard pin is so much nicer than a live lizard, and she'll get to enjoy it more and longer.  I was just glad I didn't have to take them to the show - we've got a really good friend now in the mom who is watching them (the animal keeper).  And I finagled Ron into taking the girls to the reptile and amphibian lecture at the library on Sunday so I didn't have to...yea, again!

Now I just have to ask, is it Friday yet?  I think I slept away most of last weekend, so I don't feel like I had a weekend.  My own fault, but I could not stay awake.  The highlight was going out to dinner on Sunday.  Devon had a play-date with a girl she met at religious school, and the parents invited to us to go out to dinner to this cool restaurant with them that evening.  I immediately said yes - I love doing what I consider adult things, like going out to dinner with another couple/family.  We went to a really interesting restaurant, an Asian tapas restaurant.  Devon didn't love what we ordered for her but ate enough of the other dishes that she wasn't hungry when we were done.  Aubrey opted not to come, so she had a good time with a friend instead.  Glad she did, too, because we all got to enjoy our evening this way.

Aubrey was a little disappointed earlier; she was hoping for a sleepover tomorrow night and her friend's mother said no.  She got over it pretty quickly, which is great.  They'll have one eventually, just not right now.  Both of our girls love having sleepovers.  Is this a new phenomenon?  Sleepovers from my youth were mainly the special occasion slumber parties, with an occasional one-to-one ratio sleepover. Now it seems to be the opposite, mostly one friend with one friend sleepovers and more frequently, so they're not so special.  I'm not saying it's a bad thing, just commenting that it'd changed since those long ago days of my youth.  Aubrey prefers to go elsewhere, whereas Devon prefers to be here. Aubrey finds it boring here ("there's nothing to do at our house"), but Devon doesn't have that problem and always manages to find something to destroy, I mean play with.

It's nice right now, both girls are sleeping in their own rooms.  It just sort of happened. For a long time, Devon refused to sleep upstairs and insisted on being on the couch in the living room, and then, one day, it was suddenly fine to sleep upstairs again.  I'm glad, because I got my living room back.  I like to relax on the couch and watch a little tv before going to bed, and the couch is the most comfortable place for me to sit and blog :)  Right now, I'm semi-watching Life Below Zero which I find fascinating....like watching a train wreck.  I absolutely do not understand how or why people can live this way...200 miles north of the Arctic Circle?  Makes me cold just thinking about it!  I mean, I watch the living in Alaska shows, not a lifestyle I would want either, but at least I can somewhat understand that choice - the scenery is so magnificent.  But around the Arctic Circle there doesn't seem to be a lot of variety of landscape....sort of like a white Florida, I suppose.  Well, I take that back - the mountains are really pretty.  Anyhow, it's interesting to me to see how they survive and hear their stories.  I don't really get hooked into any of their lives, so it doesn't matter to me if I miss episodes, and that keeps me from feeling like a reality show addict.  But if I happen to catch an episode I like to watch.  It's good to watch it now, too, when it's really hot here.  It reminds me why I don't want to live up north anymore.  Brrrr.

Plus, I like having other people around.  I mean, not 100% of the time, some time alone is welcome from time to time.  But, generally, I like to have others around.  I know I present as a loner and a grouch (like my Dad, maybe? LOL) but that's just my introverted nature coming out.  Maybe that's why I like meetings....meetings I don't have to lead, that is....I get to be as introverted or as extroverted as I want.  So, have as any meetings as you want and invite me to them all - I love 'em!

Happy

So, we're sitting at dinner and Ron says, "You look really good.  Your skin looks nice, your hair looks nice." and the girls agree...."Have you done something different?"  I decide to take the high road.... no, I'm not going to be offended (what, I don't usually look good?) and reply "Happy.  This is what happy looks like." No one was arguing or crying or pouting or being nasty....I was actually enjoying dinner with my family.  Of course, if that's what it takes to make me look good, I really must look like a hag most of the time.

We actually had company for dinner.  No, not FOR dinner, AT dinner.  Isabella, who's more family than company, and Chowder.  Chowder is the puppy Aubrey is training at camp this week and next.  She also is supposed to help find him his forever home.  He is the cutest tiny little puppy.  So sweet.  No, we're not keeping him.  No one ever told me that they encourage the kids to take the puppies home with them nights and over the weekend.  It makes sense.  That way the puppy gets more attention and doesn't have to stay in a crate as much.  I wonder how many campers wind up actually adopting their puppies?

Aubrey, after a tough first day at camp (we're not sure why it was a bad day but it was a doozy) now l-o-v-e-s it.  Just as we fully expected she would.  Devon says she wants to go there next year.  It would be nice for the girls to go to the same camp at the same time. Right now, one of us drives 20 minutes northeast to camp and the other drives 45 minutes southwest to camp.  Ron assumed it would always be him doing the long drive, but I'm trying to alternate.  Partly to be nice (I know, it doesn't come naturally) and partly because whoever does the longer drive actually gets to work earlier.  Go figure!  The far camp starts at 8 am.  Ugh!  I haven't had to consistently get up this early since I worked in Manhattan.  And we all know how much I loved that!

Anyhow, I'm all done being annoyed with Ron. Oh, did I forget to mention that I was really annoyed with him last night?  Not sure he knows, but the point's moot, I'm good now.  He's going to go to NC to visit his brother. That's a good thing, he doesn't see him enough.  The part I was annoyed about is that we discussed what weekend would be good for him to go (provided it had decent airfare, of course).  When Ron went to book his flight, that weekend (the last weekend of June) didn't work, so he bought tickets for the following weekend.  Fourth of July weekend.  A 3-day weekend for all of us.  It works out well for Ron and Garrett, neither of them needs to take Friday off for Ron's visit. But, I was annoyed.  It's a 3 day weekend for all of us, an extra day to do something  fun, as a family.  So I spent part of today venting to a couple of co-workers, partly to see if I was being petty and wrong to be annoyed about this.  Got a 50/50 response, so what the hell, I just planned a fun weekend for the girls and me.   Now it's win-win.  See?  Happy.

So it's time for everyone to take showers and go to bed.  Aubrey is ready - she's exhausted.  She gets up so early and has trouble getting to sleep, not a good combination.  Can I put her to bed, maybe read a little?  I'd love to, but Devon and Isabella need to also take showers and get ready for bed and Ron has already taken himself off and put himself to bed.  After threatening to take Isabella home, the twins finally agree to be quiet in Devon's room and I get to spend a little time getting Aubrey (and Chowder) settled in. When I finally think everyone is asleep, who should make their way downstairs but Devon and Isabella.  It's too hot in Devon's room, they claim, and plant themselves on the loveseat.  So much for my quiet time in front of the tv.  I offer the couch to Isabella since Devon is on the loveseat, at which point they decide the couch needs to be shared.  Okay, I shift to the loveseat, the girls lie down, cover themselves with a blanket and almost immediately are asleep. Got to love that.  I fully expected them to conk out earlier - they work hard at "horse camp" as we call it. Finally, a quiet house, with all 9 of the other inhabitants sleeping peacefully.

Not a bad day overall, especially considering that it's a Wednesday, not a Friday.  Oh, and did I mention we're all done pet sitting?  Yea!  So, I think I'll sign off while things are still good - including, apparently, my looks (for one day at least) - and I'll get to bed, you guessed it, happy.

Just another typical week-end

Need I say more?

Week-ends start on Friday, right?  So I was looking forward to our family going to dinner and services at Temple.  The girls got home a little late and did a quick change and off we went....with a lot of whining and complaining from the younger Sterns, so Ron decided we could go without him.  I insisted he come, which he did, and I enjoyed having his company at dinner.  Of course, it helped that Devon suddenly started behaving well and Aubrey, well, she sat herself at a totally different table nowhere near us and had a great time.  Go figure.

I did not get to enjoy services....it seems like everybody dumped their under 10 children in the "quiet" room and left them unsupervised.  A no-no, but who's going to yell at the parents during services?  I volunteered to go in and supervise since Devon insisted on being in there with all her friends.  After all, I can't complain about others not following the "Children must be accompanied by a parent" rule if I'm not there with her, right?  If kids go in there and are well behaved, no one says a word.  The kids Friday night, well, not so well behaved.  One boy in particular was very loud and wild and would not listen to me.  He has some, shall we say, issues?  and I think it was just wrong of his parents to send him into the room and never check on him at all.  Denial, anyone?

Anyhow, for some reason the audio wasn't working properly so I couldn't hear the services which you normally can in that room, so I missed Friday night services, which I love, so I was bummed.  And then, everyone happily goes to the Social Hall for the dessert which always follows services and lo and behold, all there is is a bowl of fruit, and not a large bowl, either.  Lots of complaining by everyone there.....where are the cookies?  It really is the simple things in life that make us happy, don't you know.

Saturday starts out okay, I guess.  I don't really remember the morning....did I sleep through it? Oh, now I remember, Devon and I went out for a little Mommy and me time.  Very nice.   Anyhow, I'd been looking forward for a while to the family going to Chocolate World for the afternoon.  Once again, as soon as we get in the car, Devon starts to melt down, Aubrey gets nasty, and Ron, well, let's not go there. There was nothing left of Devon by the time we got there - she just melted and melted and melted away. Aubrey was sullen but only minimally nasty by then and Ron was just mostly silent.  Tell me again, why do I plan and look forward to family outings?  I have this ideal picture in my mind which never comes to fruition. Yes, I continually live the saying about the definition of insanity, and will probably continue to do so until the girls are grown and gone.  Once we actually got into the place everybody semi-perked up.....guess chocolate has that effect on you even if you're not eating it.  The tour was interesting, a little too old for Devon, but we did get samples at the end (small but interesting)....and then we dined at their cafe (which included a chocolate shop, of course).  YUM!  Made the whole trip worthwhile.

Sculptures hand carved COMPLETELY out of chocolate

Saturday night is as blank as Saturday morning.....guess that means nothing memorable happened, right? Nothing wonderful but nothing horrible.  Yea!  Let's move on....

Oh, yeah....Ron noticed that the driver's window in the van was acting a little wonky - it went down crooked.  Of course, trying to be sensible, we agreed to just not open it and see it we could stave off any repairs, which would, of course, be costly.  We know we have new tires in our future, so who needs window repairs, right?  Naturally, first thing I did this morning was get in the car to go to my luncheon and yes rolled down the window to give Devon a kiss good-bye.  Duh!  Naturally, it would not go back up, so Devon volunteered to help ("I'll go get Daddy") which she did.  Ron calmly announced that he probably would have done the same thing next time he drove the car and off I went to my luncheon in  his piece of crap, I mean Hyundai, and he took the van to our trusty auto mechanic, who loves us.  I told you about my flat tire that wound up costing us a thousand dollars because we were overdue for the 100,000 mile overhaul and did we want to do that while they had the car?  Sure, why the hell not.  Devon went with Ron to get the car fixed and enjoyed her outing - McDonalds for lunch, stopping by his office, walking Bella who they also took with them for some reason....  she tells it as quite a good story.

Throughout all of this, Aubrey was home and left to her own devices.  This is bad because [1] I forgot to hide her phone which she has yet again lost use of, so she had access and [2] she decided to take herself off to the pool in the hopes that there would be someone there she knew that would let her in and "supervise" her. There was, which meant that she spent the bulk of the day today, and mid-day at that, at the pool.  Now, remember that Aubrey always gives me a hard time about applying sunscreen ("what's the big deal?" "I know, mother" and so on).  So guess what?  I have a crispy Aubrey tonight.  It hurts a little, not a lot, which is good, I guess.  I almost wish it hurt more so maybe she would wear sunscreen more.  Almost.  It really aggravated Devon that Aubrey was at the pool so much.  Don't know why, but it did.

Naturally, my week of not having to pack lunch or snack is over (sniff sniff) and both girls need both for the next week.  So I went grocery shopping today.  Not a big shop but enough to last at least most of the week. Italian ice was BOGO, so for a treat I did (BOGO).  Aren't I nice?  The girls love Italian ice and there's only 6 to a box and they're preportioned so it's great, right?  Devon took one out as soon as we got home and then took another to bring to Aubrey at the pool so they would each have one.  Sweet, right?  Aubrey left the pool before us.  Ron was at a parent orientation for Aubrey's camp for the next two weeks (don't ask). You know what that means?  Aubrey was home alone (again).  No, Ron had taken care of making her phone inaccessible.  I, however, have not yet figured out how to make food inaccessible.  She ate 3 more Italian ices and I haven't figured out what else.  Devon was really upset to find all of the sour green apple ices gone plus some of the strawberry.  And two plums.  Sometimes I think I can only buy food she doesn't like - but then what would I make her for lunch?  Let me know if you have any suggestions.

And, of course, we're pet sitting for a friend who is away this week starting tonight.  The good news is [1] the girls signed up for the job so they are doing the work and [2] none of the pets are at our house - they're all at their house, yea!!!  The bad news is [1] I have to drive the girls over to the house to do their job (and they were paid ahead of time, who does that?) and [2] it's a LOT of animals.....fortunately, we only have the night shift and only some of the animals come under our purview.  The girls need to walk the 2 dogs, mist and feed the bearded dragons and cresties (those are crested geckos to those of you not in the know), feed the geckos (I'm guessing a dozen of them plus the new babies), cover the birds and play with and feed the kittens and their mama.  The adult cats (plus one other litter) are someone else's duty.  The kittens are so cute!  But OMG it takes forever to do it all - no wonder my friend has a hard time saying exactly when she'll be anywhere.  In her defense, the kittens and mama cat are fosters and she is actively looking for homes for them.  No, much to Devon's dismay, we're not taking any.  She reminds me daily she is the only one in the family to have never picked out a pet.  And she really wants a kitten.  And the kitten she wants has not found its forever home. Fortunately, Ron keeps me strong and saying no more animals.

So it takes forever to take care of all the animals and we finally get home and it's time for the girls to go to bed but first they need to get their stuff ready for the morning.  Aubrey needs to be at camp at 8 and it's easily 45 minutes away - the drive there won't be so bad,  but Ron said the route back after dropping her off at 8 is to take the 408 - not fun at rush hour.  He hopes to be at work by 9, after leaving the house at 7:15.  Guess I'll drive a couple of times to give him a break.  I just have to trek out to Sorrento a mere 20 minutes the wrong way for work - but only one way, fortunately, a friend will pick up the kids after camp.  Got to love a car pool!

So, let's just say I'm mostly looking forward to Monday.  Work is the easy part, it's all the life around it that gets hard to juggle.  But at least it's not the week-end any longer.

Summertime and the living is.....just as hectic as ever

I don't know why people think summer is a slow time...we're just as busy as ever!  I will admit, I like being busy.  I'm so much more productive when I have a lot to do - it makes my natural laziness take a back seat.   Our standing appointments still take place even though the world thinks everyone should be on vacation.... and now we have to juggle different routines for the girls for each week, trying to keep track of where they are and where they need to be each day.  And Aubrey starts her Bat Mitzvah prep sessions in June to add a new appointment to the family schedule.  Ron's working on figuring out when and if Aubrey can go up north at all this summer, and she wants to see my Dad in addition to Ron's Mom, so that throws another variable into the equation.  Plus, she's 12 now, do I let her fly alone?



We are still going to the Food Bank once a month this summer - I'm trying to talk Ron into coming, too, and since Aubrey doesn't have religious school over the summer, she can come as well.  I doubt we'll be going anywhere this summer, so I'm trying to come up with interesting things for us to do on the week-ends.... providing I even get to see the girls on the week-end.... they make their own plans and then fill us in so it's hit or miss.  I had hoped that we could use a Groupon I bought a while ago this afternoon for a family outing, but Aubrey already had plans. Maybe next week-end.

We've been working with Aubrey to try to get us to [1] include us in the planning phase and [2] coordinate driving between us and friends' parents.  I'm sure they would agree that it would be nice to not always have to drive both ways for an activity!  And, as a bonus (for me at least), if we're included in at least coordinating the driving, we know who else is going to be participating. .... we've had a couple of instances of the people Aubrey winds up hanging out with not being who we thought she was going to be with.  This does not please me.

Devon also plans her own social life.  She was playing with a friend in the neighborhood the other night when they stopped by to announce that they had been invited to a BBQ at another neighbor's house - could Devon go?  Since her friend Jordan's mother was going, and I had an idea of who the sponsoring neighbor was, we said yes.  At 9:30, I was just about to text Jordan's mother when the phone rang.  It was the hosting neighbor, who had been doing a head count matching kids to adults and finally realized she had an extra child - Devon.  She didn't know Devon was there with Jordan.  Apparently, her reaction was "Devon!  Does your mother know you're here? (yes) Do you know your phone number? (yes)  I'm calling her!"  Which is nice - I find it humorously fascinating the my daughters know so many people in our development (and vice versa). I've met most of the people I know here through either the girls or the dog - everyone knows Bella!

I think the thing I'm most looking forward to this summer is that I only have to pack lunches for half the summer - the weeks the girls are at a friends' house for "camp" she's providing lunch - yea!  I really hate packing lunch (and snack, too).  Of course, instead each night we have to pack a change of clothes, and a bathing suit and for Devon, at least, workbooks.  The part the girls are looking forward to the most is that this friend fosters kittens and right now has quite a few, including one very little one (about 4 weeks old).  Devon is quite enamored with this tiny creature.  The girls will get to help take care of, and play with, the kittens while they're there.  They also raise geckos and lizards and have a bearded dragon and 3 grown cats and 2 dogs.  Oh, and 2 tortoises (smallish ones).  Better them than me!  And I thought I had a menagerie!

Aubrey actually co-owns one of the leopard geckos that lives there (her name is Jade) and about every 2 days comes up with another plan for a way to get the gecko here....and is always foiled, poor thing!  Today's plan was for Aubrey and her friend to build a shed in the backyard to house the geckos.....it would need to be air conditioned, of course.  And she was surprised when I said no, for some reason.  Go figure.  At least she's dropped the topic of chickens. . . for now.

I'm also looking forward to not having to wake up to an alarm on Sundays for 2 months...today being the exception.  I had 9:00 services at Temple, followed by a 9:30 meeting followed by an 11:30 meeting followed by picking up some clothes for Aubrey at a woman's house, who course wanted to show me her home based business stuff (she sells horse toys...not toys for horses but toys that are horses) and all of her daughter's equestrian ribbons and awards.  Aubrey would love it and will, of course, go back with me next time to return the clothes that don't fit.  She donates them to an abused childrens' shelter.  Good cause.  So my day of meetings finally ended at 2.  Ron and the girls called to see if I was ever coming home.  It felt like no, but I did make it eventually.  Home loud home.  Lots of screaming and arguing and just ... loudness.  So much for peace and quiet.....why did I go home again?  And then I miss the girls when they're not here .... maybe I am insane.....

Anyhow, back to all my meetings....they were all at the temple....mostly in the newly renovated Roth Social Hall.  Ron wanted to know if they finally got the window treatments in ... and was disappointed when I told him yes, but they got blinds, not curtains.  He was looking forward to seeing what he called the "drapes of Roth" .... yes, I groaned, too.

It's bedtime now.  Aubrey got home late - almost half an hour later she was supposed to be home. What do you do when it's the parents' fault, not hers, that she's home past curfew?  I told her from now on I would pick her up.  It's not like I can consequence the mother of her friend.  And she walked in and was very playful with Devon....until Devon walked out of her room leaving the light on and refused to go back to turn it off.  Aubrey having to get up to turn it off meant the slamming of the door and Devon being called a jerk. She said she's tired, so hopefully she'll fall asleep easily tonight and get some good rest.  Many nights she's up until past one.  I know because I hear the footsteps on the stairs and and the opening and closing of doors. God knows what's doing - she says coming downstairs to get a drink, going back upstairs, coming downstairs to use the bathroom (she really hates the one upstairs)... all I know is it's a LOT of ups and downs.  And she's not lightfooted.  When the girls go up and down together it's like there's a herd of elephants running though the house.  Don't believe me, ask my father.  Their room in his house is directly above his.

I wish you could see Devon right now.  She's asleep on the couch.  One leg straight up against the back of the couch, a giant pink dolphin stuffed animal lying across her chest.  She's been known to sleep in some very weird positions, so I guess this is pretty close to normal for her.

I'm actually the only one awake in the house right now.  It's eerily quiet.  No snoring, no meowing, no barking.  The only sound is the keyboard and the fan blowing air on me.  Yes, I am scared to touch the thermostat because it makes Ron crazy when it gets changed a degree or two.  He never assumes it's me that has changed it - always thinks it's one of the girls playing with it and he has a cow (what does that mean, anyhow?), so it's not worth the drama of lowering it one degree.  Plus I love the feeling of air movement, I need it...and would put the fan on high and pile on blankets in the winter to get it.  Some nights, I sleep with my head at the foot of the bed just to feel the air circulating.  The fan is broken in our room and only has one speed, medium to slow, so you really need to be right underneath it to feel it.  I had a small fan for a while, but gave it to Aubrey to use - her room gets brutally hot.  And she's a little like me - it can be 90 degrees in her room, with the air conditioner on and 2 fans blowing, but she has to sleep with a quilt on.  Finally something she gets from me and it's my need for a quilt to sleep.  Why can't I have shared a more productive trait?!

Well, my back is feeling much better.  I pulled a muscle in it last week-end and was hunched over all week. Aubrey said I walked like a granny and videotaped it because she was just hysterically laughing at me. And once again I wonder what happened to my compassionate sweet child from long ago.  My knee, unfortunately, is not any better.  I'll have a day when it only hurts little bit followed by a day like Friday when I wore two braces on it just to keep it working.  I told Ron and Aubrey it felt like it was going to start working like a bird's knee - bending the wrong way.  This totally grossed out my child for some reason . . .

but did not make her any more sympathetic.  Part of me is glad they don't understand how bad it is (I'm actually starting to consider having the damn surgery) but part of me wishes they could appreciate how limiting it is.  They get mad when I say I won't take them to the zoo or to miniature golf or the mall.  Although Devon is a little more empathetic than Aubrey is, and will occasionally make a comment about maybe we should drive to the pool instead of walking there or some such thing.   But she also wants me to walk so she can see my FitBit light up.  I've hit 10,000 steps in one day since I got it, but these aren't my best walking days these days.  I did hit over 5,000 today - walking from meeting to meeting no doubt.

Anyhow, I'll take the ups with the downs and hope my knee decides to behave.  I know it won't heal  but all I'm asking for is no pain, no giving out.  It happened once before, so it could happen again, right?  And then I'll be able to go on outings and day trips with the girls over the summer so they'll actually feel like they had a vacation....if they can fit me in their busy schedules, that is.