We spent the day at the mall. Got to be one of my least favorite things to do. I have never enjoyed shopping or walking around malls, but that is what Aubrey and my mother-in-law wanted to do, so that's what we did. Ron was not in love with this activity either, but somehow they outvoted us. Devon did not have to go with us, she went to her twin's house before I was even up this morning and we haven't seen her since. Ron and I did comment halfway through the shopping that we were glad we didn't bring her with us. She would not have been a happy girl, especially since we were not shopping at all for her. She has more clothes than we can fit into her room. It all worked out, though, Aubrey got a lot of new clothes - and 2 pairs of shoes - thank you, Grandma! and I even got a couple of new things.
I always feel so guilty leaving the dog home alone for long periods on the week-end. She's alone so much during the week and we get greeted with such a happy, tail-wagging, exuberant welcome whenever we come home. And she loves to go for rides in the car. Anytime she runs outside with us she heads straight for the car, so hopeful. Maybe we'll get a chance to take her to the dog park tomorrow, she'll like that. I love watching her when she has room to really get some speed up and run. So joyous!And the cats love it when we take the dog out. I'm sure they're always hoping that we won't bring her back, too! Poor terrorized kitties. Rosalie and Max have seemed to come to terms with Bella, they pretty much just ignore her most of the time and Bella will approach them on occasion but doesn't really bother them. Desi, on the other hand, knows that Bella thinks of him as a potential playmate, or better yet chew toy, and wants no part of this dog which is 4 times his size with sharp teeth and a hard bite. Sometimes we don't even know Desi is in the room with us until we hear his low rumbling growl when Bella enters the room. Silly cat doesn't realize he's giving himself away.
I think the visit with Grandma is going okay. The girls each played Monopoly with her, which they mostly enjoyed - they played with her separately so there was no inter-girl fighting, always a good thing. Tonight, she started working on a jigsaw puzzle with Ron. It's a good short time period activity for him, which I think frustrates his mother because she could sit and work on it for a l-o-n-g time. I love to do them, too, but will pass on it this time. I really like to do them by myself. Devon has discovered jigsaw puzzles and actually got a prize at aftercare one day for completing their toughest one all by herself. I'm very proud of her, and I was surprised because she never really liked to do puzzles much at home. Aubrey's hit or miss, sometimes she likes them, sometimes not/ I think she finds them frustrating, which we all know they can be!
Well, we'll see what tomorrow brings. We had thought we might go to the zoo today but the day got away from us and it got too late to go. Maybe tomorrow if the weather is just right. Unfortunately, we're all feeling the heavy pollen count these days, even without diagnosed allergies. Aubrey can't stop sneezing and Devon has a cough.....but this shall pass, at least for a while, and soon, I hope.
What I really wish would pass is the arguing and tension and anger that fills our house so much of the time. It's just not in my nature to be rigid, but that makes Ron feel like I let the girls get away with everything, which I disagree about. What can I say? I believe in exceptions and earning back and moving forward without staying angry or holding a grudge. I've never been able to maintain anger or hold a grudge and I consider that one of my better attributes. Ron seems to hold onto things and it's straw after straw and then the camel's back doesn't even have to break, it just has to hurt, and boom! And I guess I just don't feel that strongly about some of the things that seem really important to him, and I don't go out of my way to undermine him on these things, but some of them I really don't understand why they have to be so rigidly adhered to. Why can there not be flexibility? What things have to really be rigid and unyielding and can never have exceptions made? Maybe this goes back to differences in upbringing. We only had a couple of things that were absolutely rigid and there were really good reasons for this...such as never touching Dad's guns......and we pretty much understood the rules and the reasons and that was that. And maybe we can't do that anymore, there's no such thing in today's parenting, it seems, as "because I said so, that's why" and that being the end of it. Is it my fault that the kids want a better reason than that? Yes, sometimes I think there should be some blind obedience, but I would rather have the questions and understanding and if I can't come up with a good reason for a rule, maybe it shouldn't be a rule. But then, who decides if the reason is good enough? Well, that would be Ron and me, in our family, but does one of us get more votes than the other? What things can be compromised on, or should be compromised on? Am I too lenient in things that I should have been stricter on? Should I be more rigid? Should there be no questioning what we, as parents, say and do, no compromise, no changes in rules? I have no clue. Was my selfishness in watching what I wanted on the tv while working on the computer okay to model for my child?
So anyway, yes, we are role models and yes, we can do things our kids are not allowed to do, and yes, that's just the way it is.
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