Where are the young women?

me in St Louis for a recent work trip

I'm in that weird age between young and old.  I have children the same age as women decades younger than me, and I have peers my own age who have grandchildren, some older than my children!  I straddle two different worlds.  Other worlds get straddled, too.  I work full time outside of the home while many women my age are starting to look towards stopping working.  I joke that I'll never retire, my younger daughter graduates high school when I turn 65 - and instead of of planning my retirement, I'm looking at college tuition (times two).  And it makes me crazy when my daughters' friends think I'm their grandmother -- do I look that old?!)

When I was a young woman, particularly before I had kids, I thought that Sisterhood* was a bunch of old women who sat around planning stuff for old women.  I still think of myself as a (relatively) young woman, probably largely because I have young(ish) children, but I now look at Sisterhood differently.  Those of you in your twenties and thirties truly are young woman.  And I think you'd be surprised at how much we have in common - paticularly those of you who are mothers.

When I looked at what I wanted from my synagogue, first I didn't even consider getting involved with Sisterhood.  After all, I have young children, why would I want to get involved in an organization of old women? Plus, no matter what my actual age is, I still think of myself as a young woman, one with young kids.   I bcame involved in the religious school and social activities for the youth at the synagogue. While rewarding, though, something was missing.  Helping to plan activities for the kids was fun, but there had to be more.  Almost by accident, I attended a Sisterhood event.  I didn't go because it was Sisterhood, I went because the program appealed to me. Isn't that really why you should go to any event, because it looks interesting?  And yes, many of the women there were older women....but the program could easily have included young women - and it should have.  The topic was timely, the snacks were delicious, the conversation lively and interesting.  So why didn't it?
Why do young women still see Sisterhood as a group of old women?  Even when they come to a program, it is not with the intent of continuing an association with the group - it's almost a "one off"...as if Sisterhood's having an interesting program was a fluke.  What would entice these young women to actually join Sisterhood, to become leaders?

at Feeding Children Everywhere

Do we need to do more family programming, things that would include childen?  What are the interests of these women, not all of whom are mothers, or married, some of whom work outside the home, some of whom don't?  No one program will appeal to everyone, but what should we be adding to what we currently do to appeal and make this missing group notice Sisterhood and want to get involved?

at Second Harvest - we sorted a LOT of potatoes!

One of the reasons I am so involved is to be a role model for my children.  I want them to see me involved and actively participating in the community, in as organization that helps people.  I want them to see the rewards of involvement and commitment - the internal rewards, gratification for doing something that is for others, not myself.  I don't even mind if they see the selfish rewards, how good I feel for participating in something bigger than just myself and my family.  I want to get them involved when I can so that they can start to feel the rewards that come from being part of the community and contributing to something bigger than themselves and our family.  Do they get it yet? Maybe.

the girls learn helping can be fun

So, back to Sisterhood and young women.  Despite the fact that I was almost the youngest person at that first program by many (and I mean many) years, I was hooked.  Maybe I'm too old to connect with the young women and figure out what they would want from Sisterhood.  Like I said, I feel young, but I know intellectually I'm not. On the other hand, maybe we'll do enough programs, have enough events that appeal to this younger audience that they'll see the benefit of belonging and want to get in on the planning of more programs.  Sisterhood should be reflective of our community, not be just a bunch of older women (sorry, no insult intended!) planning activities that we are interested in and just hoping will appeal to a broader group.

* Sisterhood is the women's group at our synagogue and is an affiliate of Women’s League for Conservative Judaism, the network for all women who support our mission of enhancing Jewish knowledge, engaging in Jewish life, expanding communal involvement, and supporting klal Yisrael.