Hidden Messages

I'm sitting in bed watching one of my favorite movies. The Day After Tomorrow.  Don't ask me why I love this movie so much, I have no clue, I just do.  Usually,  a disaster movie has to be pretty bad for me to like it, like Ice Twisters.  There's just something about The Day After Tomorrow that calls to me.  It's just a little but preachy (environment, global warming, the usual stuff) - definitely not as bad as Wall-e!  Independence Day is another one that I watch every time it airs....although I'm not sure about the message in that one....beware of extra-terrestrials?

Not that global warming is a bad topic to be concerned about.  It definitely is, and I try to do what I can,, in my lazy, cheap way, to, well, do what I can.  ETs, not so much.

Been enjoying my Fitbit that I got for Administrative Professional's Day.  Yes, I know it's a Hallmark holiday, but if someone wants to give me an awesome present, who am I to refuse?  I think they want me to get healthier, what do you think?  It is fun, and I do think it will encourage me to walk a little more.....just to see the lights go off.  Devon can't wait to see the flash - and by accident she discovered that if you tap the Fitbit it lights up, so I have to be constantly on guard around her now so she doesn't keep tapping on it.

It's really time for bed, and it's been a busy day, so I should go to sleep now.  I coordinated a roller skating event for the kids from our synagogue which took place for 3+ hours this afternoon.  I didn't skate, but I think the stress of worrying if everything would go right exhausted me!  The kids were all wonderful, the better skaters helping the inexperienced ones, a lot of laughter.  As they say on tv, awesomesauce!  Aubrey and Devon both came and had a blast.  Devon says she has skated before, but I couldn't tell you when.  She had a slow start but finally got to the point where she helped a littler kid.  Aubrey did a lot of helping, she loves skating and, in fact, had just been to the rink Friday night.  Anyhow, the day was a big success and everyone asked me to plan another skating outing.  We'll see.

We're in the final month of school now.  I can't believe it!  I think we have the summer mostly planned out.  I am so appreciative now of the fact that my mother didn't work when I was young enough to have to go to camp.  I loved being able to do as I pleased all summer long.  For me, that mostly meant riding my bike, swimming and reading.  And reading.  And then again reading.  I probably read 20 books a week over the summer when I was in middle and high school.  I wish I could do that now!  Now I'd be thrilled to read one book a week at any time.  And of course the weather was so glorious....upstate New York in the summer is so wonderful.  It's why I can't go visit my family then - makes me want to move back....which I would regret come November, I am sure.

Well, unfortunately for my daughters, they do not get the luxury of a lazy summer.  Aubrey is probably old enough that she could stay home by herself, but she would be bored and the trust level for what she would be doing by herself all day every day is not there.  Maybe next summer.  Devon has a long way to go before she gets to stay home alone for any length of time, poor baby.

Anyhow I try really hard to find them things that they will enjoy for the summer so they get to actually have fun and feel like they got a break from school.  Aubrey has been talking about going to New York for part of the summer, but we have not made any arrangements for that yet either to Ron's mother or to my family. And, of course, Devon wants to do that trip as well.  Not happening!  Maybe in a few years.  Aubrey was 11 the first time she went to New York without us.

Of course, the bright side of a NY trip means no sibling battles, but Devon missed Aubrey terribly last year, so it negates the good by having a sad little sweetie here.  So we'll have to wait and see how the summer pans out.

Anyhow, my wonderful movie ended and Ron put on some Scyfy channel fantasy movie that just isn't the same, so I'm going to turn the tv off and go to bed.  If it's not a serial killer or natural disaster, it's just not for me!

And that's a fact!

I'm not sure I'm happy with the lessons Devon is learning this week at school.  We were sitting watching tv, Devon, Aubrey and I, this evening, when out of the blue, Devon remarked "that is the ugliest woman I have ever seen on tv".  I commented something along the lines of that wasn't a very nice thing to say, to which she replied, "well, that's my opinion."  True, and I knew that, but since when did she know that?  She followed this up by explaining that they're learning about facts and opinions at school, and that was an opinion. A fact would be a statement like "You're (Nancy is) my mommy".  I did so love that fact example.  I do so love being her mommy.  She just cracks me up, and she doesn't even mean to be funny, she just is.

Devon's first selfie?

Shortly before we went to Albany for Passover, Devon and I had the following phone conversation:

Me: You need to do your computer homework.

Devon:  I can’t, I lost computer.

Me: Oh?  What did you do that you lost computer?

Devon:  I accidentally crawled through the doggy door.

Me (trying not to laugh): How do you “accidentally” crawl through the doggy door?

Devon: I was on the back porch crawling around and decided to come in and forgot I wasn’t supposed to use that door.

I am glad it was Ron at home dealing with that because I was laughing so hard I would have had a hard time punishing her.  And, of course, my boss walked by right as I was asking her how one accidentally crawls through the dog door - and his only reaction?  To laugh, shake his head, and mutter something about only I would be having a conversation with a comment like that in it.  So true.  Do other people have similar things happen to them?  She definitely keeps things interesting.

Well, I have to say, I had an almost-lifelong dream fulfilled on Saturday when we flew back to Orlando.  If  had a bucket list, this would have been on it.  We flew on the Southwest Airlines Shamu plane.  I have seen this plane only once before and have always wanted to fly on it. The only downside to actually being on the plane is that then you can't see it flying, which is cool - a giant orca in the air.  Ron actually had to point it out to me that our plane was the Shamu plane - he knows how much I've wanted to see it, not to mention fly on it!  Aubrey was, being a tween, embarrassed by my excitement.  BONUS!  LOL  Other people heard me (I wasn't really loud, just pleased) and thought it was cool, too.  Mostly adults, I'm sorry to say.

So now we're home and getting back into our normal routine.  Which, of course, will end soon, since school ends Memorial Day.  Ridiculously short school year, to go with the ridiculously short school days the kids have....and we wonder why we can't compete in a global economy.  Do our kids spend even half as much time in school when they are young as other industrialized societies?  Is it just Florida?  I don't think so.   I did read an inspiring article today in People magazine....can you believe it?  It was about 5 kids who have done amazing things....one went on an Antarctic expedition for his winter break (part of a global warming project), one created a blood test to detect pancreatic cancer....and we're talking teens!  Kudos to their parents for encouraging them and to the organizations who helped out along the way and lastly to the organization who recognized them for their achievements.  Wow!  (Here's a link to a legitimate" article about one of the 5 kids:  Teen Prodigy

We're gearing up for summer.  I hate summer.  One, it's too blasted hot here in Orlando (don't tell Ron I said that, he HATES the summers here and would gladly move back up north).  Two, summer camp costs a fortune and it's a necessary evil.  Aubrey could probably get away with not going to camp, but I shudder at the thought of her being home, alone and unsupervised, all day every day of the summer.  Devon cannot be home alone yet, she is, after all, only 7, and there is no way the two girls could be home together and come out both surviving and Ron and I getting any work done.  Aubrey is going to have - you guessed it - a largely animal filled summer, which she is very excited about.  I have been agonizing over what to do with Devon, since she has Hated (yes with a capital H) every camp she's been to except horse camp.  Yes, she will be at horse camp this summer for every week that it's held, which, unfortunately, is not all summer.  I think I've finally got the rest of the summer taken care of....well, I hope I have it all taken care of, it's something I'd like to cross off my to-do list....not that I make lists, I don't, although my mother always recommended them. She would even put things already done on her list just for the sheer joy of crossing it off.  To each his own.

The next issue is going to be after-care for Devon next year, since there is no point to sending her to the expensive gymnastics after-care program she is at now when she decided to not to do gymnastics anymore. Too bad she hated the other after-care places we've tried....not that they were any cheaper.  And I'm not sure what we're doing with Aubrey next year - guess we need to find out if our carpool people are returning to the school for another year.  

And, of course, religious school is two days a week for both girls next year.  I have no idea how we are going to get them to the Wednesday 4 pm class each week.  Work is such a problem - it really interferes with life.  I can't quit my job, though - my having to work is my major winning point every time Aubrey declares she wants to be home-schooled.  Sorry, can't home-school, got to work.  Home-schooling would so be a bad idea for us!  And she's even got Devon saying that she wants to be home-schooled, although I think she really mostly likes school.  She gets to go on cool field trips, like the one we're going on on Friday - to the Orlando Shakespeare Theatre's presentation of The True Story of the 3 Little Pigs.  Don't laugh - last year we saw Frog and Toad and it was very enjoyable.  I'm glad I have Devon, a seven-year old, around to keep reminding me to enjoy the simple pleasures in life.  Aubrey, at 12, is so grown up already.  How did that happen so fast?  

Oh - here are a few pictures they took on the trip home on Saturday.  Obviously, they [1] didn't sit with Ron and me and [2] had control of my camera for longer than I thought!

  

Hmmm, maybe not quite so grown up after all!?  And maybe they both have something to teach me about enjoying :)

Snow Day

I love the look of freshly fallen snow - and falling snow.  It's so pristine, and gives the feeling of a new start, a clean slate.  I would like that - snow can fall on me and let me start all over, a new beginning.  

For some reason, I thought my daughters would actually behave well while we are in New York. To give you an example of just how wrong I can be,  my father told me tonight that the next time I visit I should come without them.  Of course, about half an hour later he told me that he didn't really mean that, he's just frustrated by their behavior.  Join the crowd!  Do you know how bad their behavior must have been for that thought to even occur to him?  

It would never have occurred to Ron or I, or any of my siblings, to do some of the things the girls do.  Mom used to say that it is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission and the girls certainly live by that rule, especially Aubrey!  It's not so much the stuff they do without permission that gets to me as it is the things they do after having been expressly told not to do it.  Dad had an unopened bag of Hershey Kisses in the pantry. The girls were told, more than once, that they were not to touch the bag, not to open the bag, that the Kisses were not for them to eat.  What did Devon tell me first thing today when I came downstairs?  That she and Aubrey had eaten the entire bag of Hershey Kisses.  I don't get it.  Did they really think nothing would happen as a consequence?  Aubrey lost an outing with my father that she had been looking forward to for weeks, and both girls lost any and all candy for the rest of the day.  You may think that this is not a big deal, but it was the second Seder tonight and there is always a lot of dessert, especially candy trays, as part of the festive meal.  And they got not one piece. 

When Devon was first told this consequence, she ran upstairs and cried for quite a while.  Aubrey huffed, but I don't think she really believed I would remember and enforce that punishment.  And tonight, when she reached for a piece of candy, she was told in no uncertain terms to put it down.  Every time I think I may be making headway with their behavior, something else pops up and slaps me in the face to tell me no.  Devon got sent away from the table because she decided she wanted to try the cake Uncle Bennett had bought and just reached out and took a piece off my plate.  I swear, you would think neither one of them had ever been introduced to the concept of good manners. I remember seeing signs last year for an etiquette camp over the summer.  I am going to see if I can find that camp for them this summer.  If not, maybe there is a military camp available.

The weather tonight reminded me of our wedding weekend.  The day was so beautiful, 70 degrees and we woke up the next day to 13 inches of snow.  Today wasn't quite so extreme, I don't think it was sunny and warm at all today, but we still got snow tonight - and it's April 15th!  Kind of late for snow.  And we had buds on the lilac bushes I had really been looking forward to seeing bloom.  I think Devon got to ride her motorcycle for only a very short time today before the skies opened and it began to rain, a nice, cold, dreary rain.  Got to love that upstate New York weather!  

The girls were very excited about the snow tonight - especially that it stuck.  They actually had a brief snowball fight when we got home, before Daddy and Papa ordered them inside.  The people who live here, not so much excitement.  My sister's favorite part of the cold and snow tonight, I think, was that she got to try out my Dad's new remote starter for his car.  It is a nice feature - could be handy in Florida, too, for the summer.  I really hate when the car is crazy hot and you can't touch the steering wheel - and my glasses fog up when I get out of the car.  And they may be having snow here in upstate New York, but it's already getting warmer than we're happy with in Florida.  I doubt there's anywhere that really has perfect weather.  I always thought that was San Diego, but the rabbi at our synagogue is from that area and he said it's only perfect if you're on the water - once you head inland it gets miserable, just like everywhere else.  Oh, well.

So, I'm sitting at Dad's laptop and I look over and notice his mouse-pad.  I had gotten the idea from my sister, a photo mouse-pad....and this one is a picture of Aubrey and Devon.  Devon was probably 15-18 months old, making Aubrey 5ish.  They were so beautiful, so sweet......I really miss those days sometimes.  Somethings were harder, but somethings were just so much simpler.

I think my favorite thing so far this visit was seeing my brother, Bruce's office.  He works from home and has designed himself a really nice office, with a standing desk that works great, and Ron covets.  My favorite thing about his standing desk is the chair.  The oxymoron in that kills me.  He has a couple different stations, at different heights, and the layout is actually really impressive.  He does know how to do his research and he lived with a few iterations before this one came into being.  I'm glad he found something that he likes and that works - it's so easy to find solutions that don't work for you for one reason or another.  And I will cut him some slack, he said he rarely uses the chair ..... and to be completely honest, the chair was not at the desk when I got there - I pulled it closer to get my Kodak moment.  What can I say?

So, the girls may go swimming tomorrow at this indoor YMCA-type place they have nearby.  It's so cool - my Mom used to go a lot with my sister-in-law Cynthia - it's got a couple of really cool water slides and a lazy river (strong current, a lot of fun) as well as HUGE hot tub and zero entrance to the pool....if I let them go they'll have a blast.  Of course, that means I need to go shopping for a bathing suit for Devon because I didn't bring one with us.  Aubrey can borrow one from her cousin.  We may also get Aubrey's ears pierced again tomorrow afternoon.  She's been wanting a second hole in her ears for a while now....and it'd be a lot cheaper than some of the the other stuff she wants....  not at the top of her ears, that's gross, that bar that goes across....we're talking about a second hole right near the first holes in her ears.  I had two holes when I was younger and had pierced ears, so I have less of a problem with this than Ron does, I think.  And I do like the look of the two earrings, as well.

We let Aubrey have her phone back for this trip.  It's been good and bad.  The best part was when she and Devon were out on their bikes and got lost - she called and it was easy to direct them home.  And she's loving [1] having the camera to use and [2] being able to be in touch with friends.  We'll see if she gets to keep it when we get home.  She's been pretty good about it's use so far.

I have two least favorite things about this visit.   One if the girls' behavior, which I've already vented about.  The other is that I'm sick.  I feel lousy.  I even went to the doctor I feel so lousy.  Co-workers....be glad I am not at work this week!  Not strep although I wouldn't swear by it with how my throat feels.  And my nose runs like a faucet, but only once I get in bed.....so no sleep for me....which makes me grouchy and gives me a headache during the day.  Did I mention I haven't been feeling well?  And Passover is one of my least favorite holidays, I find the whole prep of it stressful...although we did, for some reason, very abbreviated seders this year, both nights and it definitely felt like something was lacking because of that.  What can I say?  It's not my favorite holiday but I still want it observed traditionally.....at least, according to the traditions that I grew up with!

So, we're halfway through this visit and it's going by fast and slow and will be over before we know it.  I'm still hoping to get one day that one of the girls doesn't tell me she wants to be home and not here.  I want them to be making good memories with my Dad and their cousins and aunts and uncles and I don't feel like this has been a good visit in that regard.  Maybe tomorrow we'll all start as fresh and clean as newly fallen snow.

Cats rule

Aubrey is right.  My cat is spoiled.

One of my favorite things about our current house is the pet door leading to the backyard.  It's one of those inserts that you put in your sliding doors so the cats and dog can go in and out by themselves whenever they want.  So why does my little sweet cat stand by the front door and meow when she wants to go in and out? To top it off, she doesn't like to drink from the water bowl, either.  She likes to have water poured for he o she can lap it up as it comes down, her own private waterfall.

She actually used the door a lot when we first moved here.  Aaah, freedom!  The animals were finally not dependent upon one of us opening and closing doors to let them in and out.  Obviously, that novelty has worn off.   I think she was a very rich person in a past life who had a  butler to open doors for her and kitchen staff to prepare her meals and have constantly flowing water for her.  You know what they say, dogs have owners, cats have staff.  So true!

I know the dog is happy.  She constantly goes in and out, up and down, roaming all over the place.  You can practically set your watch by her, too, when she out to bark to the othern dogs in the neighborhood at 10 each night.  She goes other times, too, but 10:00 is her favorite.  She goes out a few times a night.  How much can the dogs have to talk about every night?  I went to the dog par today, I got a treat, nobody walked me, I hate baths, my breath is bad but no one brushes my teeth.????   Cats are so much easier than dogs!

Don't get me wrong, I love our dog.  But if we didn't have a dog, I'd be perfectly happy.  I am a cat person. Fortunately I have Ron to stop me from becoming that crazy cat lady, because I have a hard time not taking them all home with me.

I do not understand how anyone can not like cats.  There are so any different breeds and personalities, you are bound to find one that suits you. They all have such unique personalities.  I would never buy a pure bred anything myself, I'm all about rescue, but I do so like the ragdoll cat - it's so relaxed when you pick it up it goes limp like a ragdoll.  How sweet is that?!  Our cats used to be more laid back and affectionate.  They'll be that way again next weekend when we're all here without ..dun dun dunnnnnn... the dog. She's being boarded for a brief time and the cats are not going to know what to do when they have the house to themselves.  Desi, especially, will be thrilled as he is the one that Bella the dog most terrorizes.  I think that Bella things Desi is a puppy or small dog.  She goes into play mode, but up in the air and tries to nip at his neck, the way he plays with dogs at the dog park.  Desi, being a cat, doesn't communicate that way.  Butt up with a cat is not usually a good sign.  So, I'll miss Bella until we get her back, but I'll enjoy having affectionate cats while we wait.

Devon is ready to get a new pet.  She is supposed to be the one to pick out the next pet we get, since she's never picked one out.  Aubrey picked out 2 of the cats, and both girls have conveniently forgotten that they had input on adopting Bella and if if either had said she didn't want this dog we wouldn't have gotten her. can take herself out any time she wants to go.  [3] at the slightest threat that we might get rid of the dog.  I'd say that 90% of the time Devon would easily give up Bella, especially if it meant she got to pick out her own animal....a bunny, no a puppy, no a kitten, no a chinchilla, no a bird (that's the animal choice du jour).  I'm not planning on getting rid of any of my pets anytime soon, though.  Sorry, Dev, sorry, Dad.

Aubrey claims Bella as her dog under certain circumstances: [1] to aggravate her sister [2] to avoid doing a chore or going to bed or taking a shower  (can't take a shower now, I have to walk Bella, can't put away my laundry, Bella needs to go out).  Of course, while Bella does love to go for walks, she

We were very lucky when we were house hunting to find a house that not just hit everything on the house wishlist but also allowed us to keep all of our animals.  We have a friend that had to get rid of their dog when they moved. That is so sad.  It's losing a member of the family.  Devon will tell you we have eight "people" in our family,, living here.  And the girls greatly out number the boys.  For boys, we have Ron and the 2 cats, Desi and Max, who don't need anyone else around, they have a total bromance.... I would say I've never seen anything like it but a co-worker has 2 cats that behave similarly - which is freaky because they're the same colors too, a black & white (we call him a tuxedo cat) and an orange cat.  I love to watch Max, the orange cat, walk, because you can see his jungle origins in the way he moves.  

What cracks me up every time is that if anyone takes Bella for a walk around the neighborhood, Max goes too.  You can always see him without about 10 feet, just tagging along.  I think once I had all three cats follow along, but that was unusual.  Max comes every time.

When she was young, we used to joke that Aubrey was always shopping for a new family.  She's never met a stranger and makes friends pretty easily.  We are always finding her leaving us behind and joining a new family group.....hmmmm.  Well, Desi has done that - he LOVES the guy next door.  He is a super nice guy, but it is so funny how Desi will just walk right into his house, make himself at home.  And our neighbor loves Desi - in fact, Desi is the only cat he likes.

We do have great cats....great pets, really, but I think we have the best cats anywhere, and no one will ever convince me otherwise.  Except maybe that meowing tortie that is constantly demanding we wait on her. .... nah, I probably love that one the most.

 

Super glue

For a long time, we had talked about fostering animals instead of adopting them.  I always felt, and Ron agreed, that the girls would get too attached and it would be hard to let the animals leave once they had been with us for a while.  I know that even I would have a hard time letting go.  Tonight reinforced that.  We will probably never foster.

Devon and Aubrey were out on their bikes and Devon found a hurt baby bird in the road.  She immediately called Aubrey who helped her get it home, and we all worked to get it warm and dry.  I am impressed with how they worked together to take care of this tiny creature, and Aubrey made calls until she found a bird rescue/rehabilitator who told her she would take the bird.  Since I was unwilling to drive the girls and bird out to the woman, she told Aubrey to call animal services, who would come pick it up and bring it to her.  She also told the girls how to get some food into the bird, amazing to watch. I'm so proud of the girls.  This little bird would definitely not have lasted much longer on its own on the street, and the two of them never fought - they just worked together to save it.  Unfortunately, Devon became very attached very quickly and cried her heart out when the bird left.  She practically cried herself to sleep over this poor little bird.  Oh how quickly we become attached.

It's so easy to get attached to animals, especially babies or little animals. Baby people, too, I guess,which is how our species has continued to survive.  I admit to having a problem in that area - I see a small creature, like a rabbit or a kitten or even a puppy, and a part of me wants to take it home, too.  It's hard to say no to the girls when a part of me wants to say yes, but if I said yes every time one of us fell in love with an animal we'd have more animals than the National Zoo.  Thank goodness Ron does not have a hard time saying no to the animals, no matter how cute the animal, the girl or me!

I frequently feel torn and pulled....like no matter what choice I make no one is going to be happy. Which makes me want to be selfish, and ask when do I get to choose what makes me happy?  At what point does the family stop coming first in deciding what we're doing and where we're going? I do love to do things as a family, but it often feels like I have to make a unilateral decision that we're going to have some family time and then I have to force everyone to do what I think they'll have fun doing.  And of course that means battles and "I'm not going"s and so on. Sometimes I do actually let someone off the hook, if there is something else going on that they really want to do, or if they really don't want to do what I planned for us.  But when the stars align and we get out doing something we all enjoy, life is just so good.

This past weekend, I dragged us all to the Jewish Heritage Festival in Daytona Beach.  Yes, it was beautiful and sunny and yes, that's where my sunburn came from.  Fortunately, the girls didn't burn - which is surprising for Aubrey, but definitely a good thing.  We all had different things we wanted to do at the festival, and Devon missed out on one the things she wanted to try, but was a very good sport about it.  We tried to hit as much of the free stuff as possible, but the thing the girls seemed to enjoy the most, and definitely for the longest time, was the little petting zoo they had.  Very cute little animals, and you know how that appeals to my girls! There were two things I wanted to do.  To hear a band that we love play (Goldovitz and Friends) and to ride a camel.  The only real regret I have about my trip to Israel (a lifetime ago) is that I let me fear rule my decisions and did not ride the camel.  I know, you can ride a camel at the zoo now, but I wanted to do it at the festival (okay, call me Veruca Saltz).  

 Ron was a good sport about us doing all the different stuff, too, since I think other than hearing the band he wasn't really interested in much.   Oh, except for the food, which unfortunately was pricey and had l-o-n-g lines.  Overall, the day was a lot of fun, starting with an awesome model seder at temple in the morning and going through the afternoon at the festival.  I consider Sunday to be part of an anniversary gift to myself.  

Tomorrow is Aubrey's school field trip to the planetarium.  I volunteered to drive/chaperone - it's all an excuse to [1] got to a planetarium, which I usually love and have been wanting to do and [2] let Aubrey know I love her by volunteering at her school.  Maybe it'll make up for not taking her to Menchies tonight ("I just want to do something with you, we never do anything just the two of us'''....who taught that child to use guilt to get her way?!)  I make it a point to not inflict guilt and I also try very hard to not take it on and let it be inflicted in me.  I think it's a terrible way to get what you want and override the other person's wants and needs.  So, tomorrow, I'll get to spend a little extra time with Aubrey, hopefully not embarrassing her at all (or at least not much)....I think Aubrey is very much a "what have you done for me lately" kind of person - that's just how she feels loved, by having things done for her, no matter how big or small.  The simplest of things can make her happy, like getting her a drink.  So hopefully she'll get the message loud and clear in the morning that she means the world to me.

Devon will not be so happy when it's her field trip on the 25th, though.  We'll have just gotten back from New York and it's a whole day outing and it's just not do-able.    It's also to go see a play (The True Story of the Three Little Pigs).  I have mixed feelings, I'd enjoy the day and the play is, I'm sure very cute, so I'm sorry I can't do it.  On the other hand, I went to the play with her on last year's field trip and it's a LONG day surrounded by a LOT of 7 year olds!  And I usually have all I can handle with one, maybe two of them. And it's not like she's in the play or anything.

So, I'll do my best to explain to my child who seems so grown up sometimes that I forget she's still little. And hopefully she'll not be too upset since we'll have just spend a week with no work and no school.  Aubrey, too, will hopefully come back feeling she had a satisfying amount of time with Ron and I, and not be a guilt-inflicting Aubrey-monster for a while.  But we'll see.

In the meantime, I'll keep doing all the things I can think of to show the girls how much they mean to me, and try not to get so exasperated so quickly, and remind myself of how the girls have enhanced my life...and that the best days I ever had were the days when I first saw, and instantly fell in love with, the tiny, helpless creatures I am blessed to call my daughters.

Are those the winds of change?

I'm sitting here listening to unbelievable winds.  Can't wait to see what it looks like in the morning...how many palm fronds fill the road, where our garbage pail is.....I sure hope all my animals are in for the night!  It almost sounds like surf, with ebbs and big, low crashes.

That was my favorite thing about our vacation this summer - our room overlooked the ocean and we were on a high floor, so we slept with the door to our balcony open at night and fell asleep to the sound of the

ocean waves crashing to shore.  I actually loved our vacation this summer - almost all of it (take away the girls' frequent fighting and the cost of food and it would have been perfect).  And I want to go back, there is so much more to see and do in the Outer Banks that we didn't get to do, and some things we did that I would like to do again.  It's so amazing when you get to go somewhere you've dreamed of going and it actually lives up to- and in some ways exceeds- those dreams.  For me, that was the Outer Banks.  It wasn't Ron's first choice of where to go, and there were many times on the drive there that I thought he would turn around and head back home, but I think he mostly enjoyed it.  And the girls seemed to have a blast - although not enough time in the ocean for Aubrey, the water was too cold (for me)!

So, tomorrow is Ron's and my 14th wedding anniversary.  Not the wood anniversary, which is too bad, since that's what Ron and I got each other.  We bought a new dining room table with 4 chairs.  4 nice, upholstered chairs that the girls are not allowed to sit on.  The table is exactly what I wanted, what I pictured in my mind and never thought I'd get.  Thank you, Ron!  It's sitting in the garage right now, waiting for us to figure out how to get it in the house.

And, of course, Aubrey's birthday is not far away.  Still not sure what we're doing to celebrate the big day, number twelve....I have no idea what she wants as a gift, the stuff she asks for, that she says she wants is crazy....so don't ask me!  Guess I've spent too much time thinking about next year's birthday to plan for this year's day.  Although Ron and I did pick up a birthday gift I think she's going to love when we were at the resale shop where we found the dining room set.  Can't wait to give it to her, but I will.

I'm sitting here watching The Voice and it reminds me of how much I love to sing but don't much because I don't want to hurt anyone's hearing.  I have always wanted to take singing lessons - not that I think I'm wonderful or expect to go pro or anything,  but just to be able to sign without worrying that I'm bothering people and that they're trying to find a nice way to tell me to shut up. Someday maybe.  How long should one wait to pursue a dream?

The girls both sing and have nice voices.  They both do odd things with their voices sometimes, too, that makes you not want to listen to them.  Usually Devon is doing weird things or shouting or screaming her songs, but tonight she was singing along with Frozen and I was actually blown away by how good she is. Wow!  Aubrey doesn't sing as much anymore and I miss that.  She used to make up songs and sing them, or sing whatever is currently popular.  Not so much anymore.  I do, occasionally, catch her singing along to the radio in the car, but if you so much as glance her way she stops.  Is that a teen thing?

Are there more teen attributes I should be on the lookout for?  I shudder at the thought!  And please tell me she'll stop eating everything that doesn't walk away soon.  I came home tonight and after a while realized that the hand of bananas I bought yesterday was gone and there was an empty cookie box on the table (the plastic insert which had held the cookies was on the floor of my room, thank you Bella), and who knows what else is gone?  I'm glad she gets a lot of exercise, although she did so much running at school today that she brought on an asthma attack. I don't know how, but she has lost some weight recently....and grown, too, so she's looking good. ...but if the kitchen had a door on it I would keep it locked.  And everyday she asks for her phone back.  Aubrey lost the use of her phone back in January.  I understand she misses it and being in touch with her friends.....not that people talk on phones anymore, but she misses texting.  And taking selfies, like this one.

All we ask if for her to show us that she is at least somewhat responsible, that she does what she knows she is supposed to do (she doesn't have a lot of chores, but it would be nice if she did the few she has without nastiness, rolling of the eyes and/or frequent, and I mean FREQUENT reminders!)  Tonight, she was hanging out at the pool with a couple of friends when Ron found her clothes lying in a pile at the foot of our bed.  Not where they belong.  One of the "jobs" both girls have is to put their dirty clothes into a hamper.  Not that hard, you would think, right?  I think he finally couldn't take it anymore, so he picked them up and walked out of the house.  I had no idea where he went, and I was afraid he took them and threw them in garbage....and the pile included Aubrey's new shoes. But he didn't, I am happy to say.  He walked the pile over to the pool and gave it to Aubrey.  I hope she was at least a little embarrassed.  And, maybe, just maybe, we'll start to see some changes.

So, if we're lucky, the inside of our house will start to have a little less debris cluttering up the floors and furniture. And, since the wind outside has died down, maybe the streets will be less filled with debris, too.

3rd time is the charm

So far, I've typed this blog twice tonight and it's vanished with no recovery.  Ouch!  here's the third time, hope it takes.

I slept later today that I have in forever.  Well, technically not slept  since I wasn't asleep the whole time, but stayed in bed later and it felt so good.....lying there listening to the sounds of the house, the animals and kids coming and going....even Ron coming and going too. All without bothering me even once. The downside is that feeling of just a little bit of guilt for staying in bed so long and being lazy.

Not that the day was totally unproductive.  We finally started working on a project I've wanted to do for the 2 years we've been in this house - an art area in the garage for the girls.  I've got some of the area cleared out, and the next step, due to weather, was to put the air conditioner in the garage window.  Richard even came over to help with that.  Thanks, Rich!  Bad news is, it wasn't until after we had the unit in the window that Ron thought to check it to see if still works. It doesn't. Richard very nicely offered to come back tomorrow to help us to take it out of the window.  Darn! (the a/c unit, not Richard's offer.)

The day wasn't a total loss, though.  We hardly saw the girls, Devon spent the day at the barn and Aubrey with a friend, so Ron and I had a lunch date.  4 Rivers  - how anyone can not love barbecue is beyond me! And 4 Rivers is so good, it's easy to see why people stand in line for it. Even their bakery looks delicious - almost irresistible, too bad they're not a kosher bakery so we could use them for Aubrey's bat mitzvah.  And they have the coolest collection of sodas - all in antique style bottles and crazy flavors.  I'm thinking of taking Dad there next time he's in town and we can do a cream soda taste test - they had at least a half dozen different kinds of cream soda alone.

Tomorrow is the model seder for the kids at Sunday school.  I love this synagogue, they really go big when they do something.  Each student gets their own mini-"seder plate" to eat and learn from as they are walked through the meaning of the seder and the holiday of Passover.  Ron's coming to help set up the tables while I'll be helping set up the plates - including peeling the 30 hard boiled eggs and placing 30 shank bones and spoonfuls of charoses (yum!) and so on.  Can I be a kid?

Afterwards, we're heading beachward - not to go to the beach itself, but Daytona is having their annual Jewish Heritage Festival and we're going to check it out.  The religious director and his wife from a synagogue we used to belong to are musicians.  When we knew them, years ago, they played Jewish music, so beautiful, and we bought one of their cds.  They've changed their style a bit in the years since we've seen them and now play klezmer music, but they're performing at the festival and we're looking forward to hearing them.  I know Devon likes klezmer music, we had a band at temple one night and she wouldn't leave as long as they were playing.  Mostly the girls are looking forward to riding a camel.

So, remember I said everyone asks us for BIG favors?  We've had a houseguest the last 2 nights....the cousin of a friend.  This is it, though, he cannot stay on a school night, even though the girls are lobbying Ron and I to allow him to move in.  Not happening, even though I do feel badly that he's lost his place to live.  I mean, it's not like we're close to him, and he must have other friends and family in the area he could ask.  I feel like I'm tossing a stray puppy out onto the streets, but there's no way we could have someone live with   us.  The rational part of my brain knows this, and it's not like I want someone to move in with us, I just feel really badly for this young man, a kid really.  How do we find these people?  How do these people find us? I swear we're a magnet for needy people!

Big sigh.  You do what you can do, right?  I wish I could do more.

I was reading, at work, about the guy who won the Volunteer of the Year award.  He volunteered over 700 hours last year.  And he has 4 kids, including a baby.  His wife must be so understanding!  He's actually a volunteer firefighter.  I'm very impressed.  Firefighters always impress me - not because they're in uniform (although I do so love a man in uniform!), but being able to go into a burning building, to help people the way they do.  Certainly has a way of making a person feel inadequate in what they do....now I want to do even more!

I think it really helps if you have a passion for something.  That enables you to commit and helps those around you appreciate that commitment and support your efforts.  I don't have that type of commitment to anything.  Maybe there's something lacking in me?  I enjoy my volunteer work, but I'm not driven and there is no one cause that compels me to support it.  Reminds me of my career aptitude tests -  lots of interests with no one overriding interest to point me towards my destiny. Even my personality tests come up out of the norm...evenly split introverted and extroverted, and so on.

So, I guess I'll go on doing what I enjoy doing, and trying new things, hoping someday to have that epiphany, that moment where lightning strikes and I realize this is what I was meant to do, what I was put here for.....either that or I'll just roll over and go back to sleep.

Story Notes

Don't you love watching movies with story notes?  I do.  My only problem with them is that they are at the bottom of the screen - the same place my closed captioning is.  Why can't you choose where the captioning displays?  To me, it makes way more sense for it to be at the top of the screen - it would interfere with what you're watching a lot less.  And then it wouldn't overlap my story notes :)  And yes, I usually have the words on, as the girls say, because I am deaf deaf deaf and it beats having the volume crazy loud...which irritates my good ear...and my husband.  And the loud volume would be especially counterproductive at night, when we want the house quiet so the girls, and animals, will all go to sleep.

Devon needed help falling asleep tonight.  She wanted to hear funny stories or silly things I've done.  Of course, she had to top each story and then asked for another one.  How does this help you fall asleep? Well, eventually we switched to songs and hopefully she fell asleep happy and will have sweet dreams.  Aubrey, too, is having difficulty getting to sleep tonight.  It's after 11 and she's still up.  Going to have tired cranky girls in the morning!  I feel sorry for their teachers tomorrow ... and for us getting them up and out!  At least they're in their own beds tonight.  Aubrey recently decided she doesn't like sleeping downstairs, it's not comfortable. I've never understood how sleeping on the floor is comfortable - maybe that's part of the reason why the idea of tent camping doesn't appeal.  Too hard.

Aubrey really wants to go camping - real camping, with a tent and sleeping bags, the works.  Not me.  Not sure how Devon feels about it.  I think Aubrey's biggest disappointment last year with Girl Scouts is that her troop talked about camping but never did it.  Devon's troop this year actually has some campers in it, but the troop doesn't want to go camping as far as I know.  Too bad Aubrey couldn't join my nephew's boy scout troop - they camp a LOT.  Of course, the last thing my boy-crazy child needs is to be part of a boy scout group....den...pack...whatever they call it.

So, we're riding home from dinner tonight (Jerry's Pizza, yum) and we pass a stand of particularly tall looking palm trees.  They're kind of weird looking when they get really tall because they're all skinny trunk with that strange patterned bark, if you can call it bark.  Out of the blue, I wonder, out loud, how tall can a palm tree get?  I mean, really, when you think about it [1] how tall can any tree get and [2] how well do we judge distance when we're looking UP with nothing to give it perspective?  Aubrey, ever one to voice an opinion or answer, immediately says 200 feet.  This cracks Ron up.  That would be a crazy tall palm tree....the same height as a 20 story building?  Well, who knows?  So I looked it up - yes, I seriously love having a smart phone, particularly when I get service.  Guess what?  The tallest palm trees are known to be 160 feet tall, sometimes, although it's rare, even hitting 200 feet!  (In Colombia, not here, but I didn't say it had to be here).  Who's laughing now?  Na na na na boo boo to Ron!

Speaking of being mature, nah, never mind, why start now?

We've gotten great feedback from the synagogue about Aubrey in class.  They've been really impressed with how articulate she is and say she's really on point when participating in class discussions - and that she is a frequent participant, never hesitating to ask questions or try to answer questions or to voice an opinion  (that we knew!).  It's so lovely to get positive feedback like that about your child.  Devon's teacher adores her, and Devon likes her class since she gets to be the helper.  She likes to be the helper at public school, too, but there she gets in trouble for it.  At Sunday School, she's rewarded for it.  You'd think that would be confusing, but it doesn't seem to be for her.  She came home the other day from Sunday School with quite the haul of goodies from her teacher - including a music book for playing songs on the piano. ????  Why do people think my daughters can play the piano?  Well, I can understand why people think Aubrey knows how to play - she tells them she does!  She even played the piano in her school talent show, remember? But she's never had lessons and can't read music.  Nor can Devon.  However, Ron can (I had a lot of years or piano lessons and still cannot play even the simplest tune or read music at all.). Maybe he can teach them some basics.  Devon at least likes to play on the keyboard.  I've never seen Aubrey go near it.

Hopefully, Aubrey remembers the trope she learned at Hebrew School last year - that is the different sounds you make to comprise the melodies for prayers and blessings.  There are little symbols that you read to know when to go up, down or sideways....  I can never remember what symbol means what - I just have to memorize the melodies for the different prayers.  But Aubrey will need to know the trope because she will actually read from The Torah for her bat mitzvah next year.   We're starting her on her lessons a little early - I'm hoping the longer time period will make it a little easier and less stressful for her to prepare.  We've also started working on the party and how the week-end will lay out.  I'm even starting to get excited.  I told Ron and Aubrey we need to start crashing bar mitzvah parties to check out DJs.  Aubrey loved this idea!

Ron's big thing this week is to make sure we all use "fewer" and "less" correctly.  And he is very happy to correct us all each and every time we use one of them incorrectly - which seems to be frequently!  Makes me think of my Dad, who always likes to add the "ly" to others' words when something we say should be an adverb (see, Dad, I do know what part of speech it is!) but we didn't use the right form.  I always hear the song from the movie 1776 in my mind when he does that....and I have found myself doing it on occasion, too, although I try not to because it's annoying.  I choose to be annoying in other ways.  :)  Lees of West Virginia from the movie 1776


So, Devon went to work out tonight.   The mother of her "twin" Isabella is very committed (I admire this in her greatly even though it hasn't rubbed off on me).  Two nights a week, her gym has a kids class that she takes her kids to and Devon wanted to go.  I had to sign a waiver, and of course you need to join the gym to participate, but I took Devon over to check it out.  I mean, how much could a kids class be, right? Well, it's $60 a month FOR KIDS....not happening, sorry!  But they let Devon try a free class -  she loved it (unfortunately).  I wish I could sign her up to go, but that is just not doable.  Her favorite part was climbing the mountain, although she said they did burpees and a bunch of other stuff she like also.  When she and Isabella got to the top of the mountain, they decided to sit and celebrate (who could blame them, right?)

So, she'll have to get her exercise someplace else.  I don't suppose she'll ever go back into her gymnastics class...it's included in her aftercare costs, but, go figure, she's decided she doesn't like it anymore.  At least she's stopped doing cartwheels everywhere and anywhere.  She has become a bit of a monkey, though, climbing everywhere she can.  Monkey bars I don't mind, and even trees are okay.  Although, Ron found our 12 foot ladder on our front walk last night.  Puzzled, he asked our neighbor if he knew anything about how it got there from our backyard.  Apparently, the neighbor's son (also in 1st grade) had gotten his ball stuck in their tree.  So Devon, ever one to be helpful (see above),, went into our back yard and got the ladder (yes, I did say it is twelve feet), and brought it out to the tree so she could get the ball down.  Once the ball was down, she left the ladder where it was, so the dad moved it to our walk so we could put it away.  We would never have known about the incident if Devon had put the ladder back.  I would so love to be able to see into her mind........

Maybe there's a way we can get story notes for our kids?

Lessons to learn

They were so happy to see Aubrey at the orthopedist tonight.  It seems like it's always the same woman working the reception desk when we go there.  They take a photo of you the first time you visit their office, and she got a kick out of seeing how much Aubrey has changed over the years.  She thinks Aubrey is beautiful and getting so grown up.  I can't argue with that!  Too bad she's been seeing Aubrey so much over the years, though.  you'd think Aubrey would learn to be more careful so she doesn't get hurt quite so often, wouldn't you?

Ron and I have been discussing wrapping Aubrey is bubble wrap.  I have a giant role in the garage that might just do the trick.  Apparently, Aubrey felt the need for speed this afternoon and had a skateboarding accident at a friend's house.  And all she wants for her birthday (besides another dog) is a skateboard.   I see some serious conversations coming up in our house in the next two weeks.

I think I've finally figured out how to keep Ron in line.  He likes to make little comments, somewhat sarcastic, sometimes serious, frequently annoying...and he never knows how I'm going to react.  (Actually, I never know either, but don't tell Ron that).  I usually get really pissed off - guess there's enough truth in his snide remarks to hit home and I get defensive and over-react.  But sometimes, just often enough to keep him guessing, he makes his comment and I think, you know, he's right, and start laughing, make some sarcastic comment back at him and the mood lightens.  Why don't I do this more often?  I think I need to be in a more relaxed, unstressed state of mind to have the "good" reaction.

I get such a kick out of my boss telling me I'm always so calm....if he only knew!  I do seem to be calmer at work.  Not that it's not stressful, it certainly can be.  But there's something about it, at least in this office with this group of people, that doesn't get to me the way other offices or other groups have.  Maybe it's also that I finally have stuff going on outside of the office, too, to help meet my "me" needs, so I'm not dependent on the office and my co-workers to meet all of my social and altruistic needs.  Am I finally learning that you can't get everything you need from one person and one place?

The rabbi's talk on Saturday was about polygamy....recent court rulings have brought it to the front page, I guess, and he was giving some historical, and Jewish, perspective on the topic.  Not fair that it used to be allowed for a man to have multiple wives (although not recommended to exceed 4-5) while a woman cold only have one husband.  I mean, not that I want another husband or anything,  but it could be handy to have more than one  - each one could fit a different need, right?  I mean I could have one social husband, one handy around the house husband, one religious husband, one who is great with the kids and wants to be a stay-at-home dad kind of husband.....how many is that?  I think I'm beginning to see the appeal of polygamy....

Oh, and make one rich, please.  Too bad Aubrey made me leave before the rabbi's talk was done.  It could have been a very interesting discussion that I missed.  And no, just because we left when she wanted to which was before I wanted to doesn't mean she's in control.  I understood that there were no kids here for her to hang out with and she didn't find the topic that interesting.  She did try to listen at the start and even asked questions, trying to participate, but it really wasn't a topic for an 11 year old.  So I gave in and we left. Good timing, too, since there were tornado warnings on car radio on out way home.

I figured that meant we needed to go pick up the kids from horseback riding, but they actually had taken refuge from the impending storm at one of the instructors' homes and were having a ball.  The people we've met through horseback riding are so awesome.  There's no competitiveness, the adults are super role models, the kids are really nice, and the people are just so accepting.  When we first started going out to the barn, they said "welcome to the horse world" and it's true - it is a different world and they have made us feel welcome.  And it doesn't matter to them that we will never own our own horses, or probably even lease one.

It's the same kind of welcome we get at our synagogue and at Second Harvest.  A "we're so happy you're here" kind of attitude that permeates those institutions.  I always wanted my home to be like that....an open door, relaxing, welcoming kind of place.  Well, we have the open door - people are frequently coming and going around here - but I don't know how well we're doing on the relaxing and welcoming aspects.  And it's my fault, too - we have too much stuff!  I have a problem getting rid of stuff hence I have a very cluttered house.  So it's not relaxing from that vantage.  I think it is relaxing and welcoming in that we want people to come in and make themselves at home.  At least, I do...I can't speak for Ron, although he always seems happy to have people stay to visit if they drop by for some reason.  At least for a little while, before he goes and hides in our room, looking for quiet.  We do have loud girls, I'll give him that.

But it takes a lot of noise for me to be unhappy about it, if it's a happy loudness.  Even the almost-screaming singing that the younger girls like to do - which aggravates Ron and Aubrey instantly and incites fury like you would not believe - I can take even that for quite a while before it's too much.  My current favorite is them singing "Let it Go" from Frozen.  I think Devon is actually quite good.  Definitely better than the girls who sang it at Aubrey's school talent (or lack thereof) show.  I give them a lot of credit for being willing to get up there in front of the school and give it a shot - but I give even more credit to the kids at the school who cheered and wooped it up as if they were hearing Idina Menzel singing it.  Great support.  And that's something I'd like Aubrey to learn.  Devon, too.

Well, add that to the list of things I'd like them to learn.  Can you learn to be empathetic?  Aubrey asked me tonight what empathy means.  How could I explain a word that describes her personality when she was 3 but doesn't describe it anymore?  How do you lose a characteristic like that?  And I'm not sure Devon ever had it....there are times when they can both be so mean and so not-empathetic that it blows me away,  That's when I need husband number, I think it was 5, to step in and deal with the situation. But no, I don't have him around, so I have to deal with this, just me and husband number one....darn!  Of course, there are times when they do seem to be empathetic and sympathetic and nurturing and all sorts of wonderful traits.  Guess I'm not the only one in this family with multiple personalities, hunh?



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