They were so happy to see Aubrey at the orthopedist tonight. It seems like it's always the same woman working the reception desk when we go there. They take a photo of you the first time you visit their office, and she got a kick out of seeing how much Aubrey has changed over the years. She thinks Aubrey is beautiful and getting so grown up. I can't argue with that! Too bad she's been seeing Aubrey so much over the years, though. you'd think Aubrey would learn to be more careful so she doesn't get hurt quite so often, wouldn't you?Ron and I have been discussing wrapping Aubrey is bubble wrap. I have a giant role in the garage that might just do the trick. Apparently, Aubrey felt the need for speed this afternoon and had a skateboarding accident at a friend's house. And all she wants for her birthday (besides another dog) is a skateboard. I see some serious conversations coming up in our house in the next two weeks.
I think I've finally figured out how to keep Ron in line. He likes to make little comments, somewhat sarcastic, sometimes serious, frequently annoying...and he never knows how I'm going to react. (Actually, I never know either, but don't tell Ron that). I usually get really pissed off - guess there's enough truth in his snide remarks to hit home and I get defensive and over-react. But sometimes, just often enough to keep him guessing, he makes his comment and I think, you know, he's right, and start laughing, make some sarcastic comment back at him and the mood lightens. Why don't I do this more often? I think I need to be in a more relaxed, unstressed state of mind to have the "good" reaction.
I get such a kick out of my boss telling me I'm always so calm....if he only knew! I do seem to be calmer at work. Not that it's not stressful, it certainly can be. But there's something about it, at least in this office with this group of people, that doesn't get to me the way other offices or other groups have. Maybe it's also that I finally have stuff going on outside of the office, too, to help meet my "me" needs, so I'm not dependent on the office and my co-workers to meet all of my social and altruistic needs. Am I finally learning that you can't get everything you need from one person and one place?
The rabbi's talk on Saturday was about polygamy....recent court rulings have brought it to the front page, I guess, and he was giving some historical, and Jewish, perspective on the topic. Not fair that it used to be allowed for a man to have multiple wives (although not recommended to exceed 4-5) while a woman cold only have one husband. I mean, not that I want another husband or anything, but it could be handy to have more than one - each one could fit a different need, right? I mean I could have one social husband, one handy around the house husband, one religious husband, one who is great with the kids and wants to be a stay-at-home dad kind of husband.....how many is that? I think I'm beginning to see the appeal of polygamy....
Oh, and make one rich, please. Too bad Aubrey made me leave before the rabbi's talk was done. It could have been a very interesting discussion that I missed. And no, just because we left when she wanted to which was before I wanted to doesn't mean she's in control. I understood that there were no kids here for her to hang out with and she didn't find the topic that interesting. She did try to listen at the start and even asked questions, trying to participate, but it really wasn't a topic for an 11 year old. So I gave in and we left. Good timing, too, since there were tornado warnings on car radio on out way home.
I figured that meant we needed to go pick up the kids from horseback riding, but they actually had taken refuge from the impending storm at one of the instructors' homes and were having a ball. The people we've met through horseback riding are so awesome. There's no competitiveness, the adults are super role models, the kids are really nice, and the people are just so accepting. When we first started going out to the barn, they said "welcome to the horse world" and it's true - it is a different world and they have made us feel welcome. And it doesn't matter to them that we will never own our own horses, or probably even lease one.
It's the same kind of welcome we get at our synagogue and at Second Harvest. A "we're so happy you're here" kind of attitude that permeates those institutions. I always wanted my home to be like that....an open door, relaxing, welcoming kind of place. Well, we have the open door - people are frequently coming and going around here - but I don't know how well we're doing on the relaxing and welcoming aspects. And it's my fault, too - we have too much stuff! I have a problem getting rid of stuff hence I have a very cluttered house. So it's not relaxing from that vantage. I think it is relaxing and welcoming in that we want people to come in and make themselves at home. At least, I do...I can't speak for Ron, although he always seems happy to have people stay to visit if they drop by for some reason. At least for a little while, before he goes and hides in our room, looking for quiet. We do have loud girls, I'll give him that.
But it takes a lot of noise for me to be unhappy about it, if it's a happy loudness. Even the almost-screaming singing that the younger girls like to do - which aggravates Ron and Aubrey instantly and incites fury like you would not believe - I can take even that for quite a while before it's too much. My current favorite is them singing "Let it Go" from Frozen. I think Devon is actually quite good. Definitely better than the girls who sang it at Aubrey's school talent (or lack thereof) show. I give them a lot of credit for being willing to get up there in front of the school and give it a shot - but I give even more credit to the kids at the school who cheered and wooped it up as if they were hearing Idina Menzel singing it. Great support. And that's something I'd like Aubrey to learn. Devon, too.
Well, add that to the list of things I'd like them to learn. Can you learn to be empathetic? Aubrey asked me tonight what empathy means. How could I explain a word that describes her personality when she was 3 but doesn't describe it anymore? How do you lose a characteristic like that? And I'm not sure Devon ever had it....there are times when they can both be so mean and so not-empathetic that it blows me away, That's when I need husband number, I think it was 5, to step in and deal with the situation. But no, I don't have him around, so I have to deal with this, just me and husband number one....darn! Of course, there are times when they do seem to be empathetic and sympathetic and nurturing and all sorts of wonderful traits. Guess I'm not the only one in this family with multiple personalities, hunh?
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