Super glue

For a long time, we had talked about fostering animals instead of adopting them.  I always felt, and Ron agreed, that the girls would get too attached and it would be hard to let the animals leave once they had been with us for a while.  I know that even I would have a hard time letting go.  Tonight reinforced that.  We will probably never foster.

Devon and Aubrey were out on their bikes and Devon found a hurt baby bird in the road.  She immediately called Aubrey who helped her get it home, and we all worked to get it warm and dry.  I am impressed with how they worked together to take care of this tiny creature, and Aubrey made calls until she found a bird rescue/rehabilitator who told her she would take the bird.  Since I was unwilling to drive the girls and bird out to the woman, she told Aubrey to call animal services, who would come pick it up and bring it to her.  She also told the girls how to get some food into the bird, amazing to watch. I'm so proud of the girls.  This little bird would definitely not have lasted much longer on its own on the street, and the two of them never fought - they just worked together to save it.  Unfortunately, Devon became very attached very quickly and cried her heart out when the bird left.  She practically cried herself to sleep over this poor little bird.  Oh how quickly we become attached.

It's so easy to get attached to animals, especially babies or little animals. Baby people, too, I guess,which is how our species has continued to survive.  I admit to having a problem in that area - I see a small creature, like a rabbit or a kitten or even a puppy, and a part of me wants to take it home, too.  It's hard to say no to the girls when a part of me wants to say yes, but if I said yes every time one of us fell in love with an animal we'd have more animals than the National Zoo.  Thank goodness Ron does not have a hard time saying no to the animals, no matter how cute the animal, the girl or me!

I frequently feel torn and pulled....like no matter what choice I make no one is going to be happy. Which makes me want to be selfish, and ask when do I get to choose what makes me happy?  At what point does the family stop coming first in deciding what we're doing and where we're going? I do love to do things as a family, but it often feels like I have to make a unilateral decision that we're going to have some family time and then I have to force everyone to do what I think they'll have fun doing.  And of course that means battles and "I'm not going"s and so on. Sometimes I do actually let someone off the hook, if there is something else going on that they really want to do, or if they really don't want to do what I planned for us.  But when the stars align and we get out doing something we all enjoy, life is just so good.

This past weekend, I dragged us all to the Jewish Heritage Festival in Daytona Beach.  Yes, it was beautiful and sunny and yes, that's where my sunburn came from.  Fortunately, the girls didn't burn - which is surprising for Aubrey, but definitely a good thing.  We all had different things we wanted to do at the festival, and Devon missed out on one the things she wanted to try, but was a very good sport about it.  We tried to hit as much of the free stuff as possible, but the thing the girls seemed to enjoy the most, and definitely for the longest time, was the little petting zoo they had.  Very cute little animals, and you know how that appeals to my girls! There were two things I wanted to do.  To hear a band that we love play (Goldovitz and Friends) and to ride a camel.  The only real regret I have about my trip to Israel (a lifetime ago) is that I let me fear rule my decisions and did not ride the camel.  I know, you can ride a camel at the zoo now, but I wanted to do it at the festival (okay, call me Veruca Saltz).  

 Ron was a good sport about us doing all the different stuff, too, since I think other than hearing the band he wasn't really interested in much.   Oh, except for the food, which unfortunately was pricey and had l-o-n-g lines.  Overall, the day was a lot of fun, starting with an awesome model seder at temple in the morning and going through the afternoon at the festival.  I consider Sunday to be part of an anniversary gift to myself.  

Tomorrow is Aubrey's school field trip to the planetarium.  I volunteered to drive/chaperone - it's all an excuse to [1] got to a planetarium, which I usually love and have been wanting to do and [2] let Aubrey know I love her by volunteering at her school.  Maybe it'll make up for not taking her to Menchies tonight ("I just want to do something with you, we never do anything just the two of us'''....who taught that child to use guilt to get her way?!)  I make it a point to not inflict guilt and I also try very hard to not take it on and let it be inflicted in me.  I think it's a terrible way to get what you want and override the other person's wants and needs.  So, tomorrow, I'll get to spend a little extra time with Aubrey, hopefully not embarrassing her at all (or at least not much)....I think Aubrey is very much a "what have you done for me lately" kind of person - that's just how she feels loved, by having things done for her, no matter how big or small.  The simplest of things can make her happy, like getting her a drink.  So hopefully she'll get the message loud and clear in the morning that she means the world to me.

Devon will not be so happy when it's her field trip on the 25th, though.  We'll have just gotten back from New York and it's a whole day outing and it's just not do-able.    It's also to go see a play (The True Story of the Three Little Pigs).  I have mixed feelings, I'd enjoy the day and the play is, I'm sure very cute, so I'm sorry I can't do it.  On the other hand, I went to the play with her on last year's field trip and it's a LONG day surrounded by a LOT of 7 year olds!  And I usually have all I can handle with one, maybe two of them. And it's not like she's in the play or anything.

So, I'll do my best to explain to my child who seems so grown up sometimes that I forget she's still little. And hopefully she'll not be too upset since we'll have just spend a week with no work and no school.  Aubrey, too, will hopefully come back feeling she had a satisfying amount of time with Ron and I, and not be a guilt-inflicting Aubrey-monster for a while.  But we'll see.

In the meantime, I'll keep doing all the things I can think of to show the girls how much they mean to me, and try not to get so exasperated so quickly, and remind myself of how the girls have enhanced my life...and that the best days I ever had were the days when I first saw, and instantly fell in love with, the tiny, helpless creatures I am blessed to call my daughters.