Can I help you?

What is it about me that encourages people to ask me for favors?  And I mean big favors, and usually from people that I am not that close to.  We watched our neighbor's dog for a month while they were away last year - and it was only after we had said we would do it, and felt committed, that we thought, you know, they have a lot of friends that they are close to, we barely know them, why did they ask us?

The parents of one of Aubrey's friends had to move with very short notice into a temporary place to live, and could not take all of their pets with them.  We're friendly with them, and have exchanged small favors back and forth over the past year.  Could we keep 2 of their dogs, and their daughter, for the week-end?  Absolutely, not a problem.  Come the end of the week-end, the daughter and one dog left, but we still had an extra (not housebroken) dog at our house until I finally called and asked them to come pick him up later that week.  Did we love having Aubrey's friend come stay the week-end? Absolutely.  Did we enjoy the dogs?  Mostly.

So today, a friend's cousin who we know, not super close, but we're always happy to see him, asked if he could move in with us for a few months while he gets on his feet.  A nice young man, just got his first paying job and doesn't have anywhere to live.  It's going to break my heart to say no, but I don't see how we can do it.  The girls, of course, overheard him talking to me and have already rearranged their rooms to accommodate his moving in.

But my question remains.....what is it about us, about me, that makes people I don't even really know all that well ask me for what are really tremendous favors?  I know how to say no, although I do seem to have a hard time with it.  Ron is much better at it than I am, but even he agreed to the favors - I would never have taken in the pets without his agreeing to it.  But even he wonders.

Is this trait a good thing, do you think? Maybe there really is something about me....like the old "kick me" signs that got put on unsuspecting people's backs....something that says I'm a glutton for punishment, as the saying goes, and just can't say no.  I hate to think that's right, though.  But where is the line between doing someone a favor and being used?  It seems like the people who we help out can never return the favor, and the people who do help us never need a favor in return. And this is not to say that people don't do nice things for us - we do have people who are generous with us and who do us favors.....usually without expecting anything in return. Does reciprocity ever come into play?  Or are we paying it forward?  That's a lesson I wouldn't mind teaching the girls. How can I tell?  Is it a fine line or am I missing some clearly delineating aspects between being a doormat and letting people use you or being someone helpful?  I just don't know.

So, even though my house is a mess, please wipe your feet before you walk all over me, I mean, come in.